Is this a Prompting or am I just Paranoid?

One of the most common questions that is asked about the Spirit is how we can tell whether or not a prompting is coming from the Spirit or whether it is simply the product of my own thoughts. The most common answer that is given is that if a thought leads you to do good, follow it. If you feel a prompting to take a treat to a neighbor, whether it comes from the Spirit or oneself is irrelevant because every good thing (or thought) originates from Christ anyway. This answer is simple and true, it seems to remove all questions regarding recognizing the Spirit. However, the question continues to be asked, how can I tell? This is because not all promptings are obviously good or bad. The prompting to visit a widow or help someone with a car problem can be easily attributed to the Spirit, but what about the prompting to go to the grocery store at 2:00 AM? What if you feel like you should return home early from a trip or avoid a trip altogether? What about the promptings to back out of a home purchase before signing the contract or to move to a new city? These kinds of promptings can have major consequences that range from inconvenient to disasterous, yet they are not so easy to judge as good or bad. Going to the store at 2:00 AM isn't inherently good or bad, it's morally neutral. I believe these are the promptings that confuse us and prompt the questions about recognizing the Spirit.

The truth is that voice matters more than message. There is no real pattern (other than the one already mentioned) that you can apply to the prompting to know whether it comes from God. You won't always be able to know by the message, sometimes the only way to know is by the voice that gives it. We must become so familiar with the Lord that we recognize His voice clearly and distinctly from all other voices. This is a process that takes a lot of time and effort.

It reminds me of the story told by Elder Allan F. Packer:

“When I was a young man in high school, one of my passions was American football. I played middle linebacker. The coach worked the team hard, teaching us the basics. We practiced until the skills became natural and automatic. During one play against our biggest rival, I had an experience that has helped me over the years. We were on defense. I knew my assigned opponent, and as the play unfolded, he moved to my right into the line of scrimmage. There was a lot of noise from players and fans. I reacted as the coach had taught us and followed my man into the line, not knowing if he had the ball. To my surprise, I felt the ball partially in my hands. I gave it a tug, but my opponent didn’t let go. As we tugged back and forth, amid all the noise I heard a voice yelling, ‘Packer, tackle him!’ That was enough to bring me to my senses, so I dropped him on the spot.

“I have wondered how I heard that voice above all the other noise. I had become acquainted with the voice of the coach during the practices, and I had learned to trust it. I knew that what he taught worked.

“We need to be acquainted with the promptings of the Holy Ghost, and we need to practice and apply gospel teachings until they become natural and automatic. These promptings become the foundation of our testimonies” (“Finding Strength in Challenging Times!” Ensign or Liahona, May 2009, 17).

In Elder Packer's story, the right action wasn't discernible by an analysis of the many messages being shouted but because he recognized the voice of his coach. 

I think that the question "how do I know whether a prompting comes from God or not?" is fundamentally flawed because it focuses on the prompting itself rather than the voice which is the only true way to know. Perhaps it would be more useful to ask, "how can I better recognize the Lord's voice when He speaks to me?"

Answers to this question come much more readily and in abundance, I have a few thoughts in response. 

1. Failing doesn't make me a failure

Remembering that the Savior's Atonement means that there is no mistake I can make that He can't fix gives me the freedom to fail without being a failure. "Stand fast in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free." How do we honor the freedom Christ purchased with His sacrifice? I think we stand fast in freedom when we replace the fear of ruining things with the faith of trying things. For example, while the prompting to share the gospel or my testimony is obviously good, I have at times wondered whether what I say or how I say it will offend someone and therefore cause negative results. When I understand that Christ can fix any unforeseen consequences, I am free to try to do what's right without having to fear permanent damage. In other words, Christ purchased the freedom to try. To stand fast in that freedom means to not attempt to seek answers by thinking that ought to be obtained by doing. Faith means action and there is no shortcut to recognizing God's voice. It cannot be done by study alone, but also by faith, or action. This means that in the situation I mentioned, I share my testimony and trust that if I fail, God can fix the problems and I can learn a better way to try it next time.

2. Move your feet and keep your ears open.

We must learn to keep walking and continue to listen. Sometimes the answers to our questions are not visible from our current position. We may keep praying for the Lord to tell us which way to go when if we would only take two steps in any direction we would realize that we were standing directly behind a tree and the way to go would become obvious. Sometimes the answer is movement, or a change of position. Too often we fall victim to paralysis by analysis. We can debate all day about what could or couldn't be behind the tree or we could take two steps and know for sure. There is no substitute for work and motion.

“What do you do when you have prepared carefully, have prayed fervently, waited a reasonable time for a response, and still do not feel an answer? You may want to express thanks when that occurs, for it is an evidence of [Heavenly Father’s] trust. When you are living worthily and your choice is consistent with the Savior’s teachings and you need to act, proceed with trust. As you are sensitive to the promptings of the Spirit, one of two things will certainly occur at the appropriate time: either the stupor of thought will come, indicating an improper choice, or the peace or the burning in the bosom will be felt, confirming that your choice was correct. When you are living righteously and are acting with trust, God will not let you proceed too far without a warning impression if you have made the wrong decision.”

Elder Richard G. Scott of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, “Using the Supernal Gift of Prayer,” Ensign, May 2007, 10.

3. There is no substitute for time on the lake.

When my dad first took me fishing he taught me that I would know when I had a bite because the tip of my pole would pull down or shake. I would watch and wait and when it would move I would yank the pole and start reeling like crazy. Most the time I found no fish on my hook. I soon learned that a pull on the rod could be actually be caused by many things, including waves, snags or a brother kicking the pole from behind. While I have not become as much of a master fisherman as I would like to be, I have learned that there is no substitute for time on the lake. Others can describe to me exactly how the pole will react or how I should respond, but in reality I will not learn to be a great fisherman until I get the feel for fishing. 

A few weeks ago I fished with my brother who fishes almost on a daily basis. I caught two fish. Both times I was not even sure I had caught anything until I had reeled the fish for a while. As it grew darker I strained to watch the line to see when it grew tight. I stooped close to the water to try to see my line in the sunlight. As he stood upright and reeled like a normal person I asked him how he could see his line. He told me he doesn't really look at the line, he just feels the fish when they bite. While I struggled to fish in the dark he went right on fishing as usual. I realized that while he could describe to me what I would see and feel when I had a fish on, the only real way to know was to spend time in the water learning to feel the difference. I would probably reel a lot of bites with no fish and probably catch a few fish I didn't know were biting, but in the process I would learn to recognize the difference. I believe the same is true of the Spirit. We can ask what it feels like and others can describe it, which helps, but the only real way to know is to "spend time on the lake." 

Teaching moment: take your child fishing. Explain to them that fishing takes time and practice. Encourage them to set the hook and reel if they feel they think they might have a bite and that they will soon come to recognize the difference. Discuss parallels to promptings of the Spirit.

Have a child stand behind a large obstacle. Ask them if they know what is behind it. Invite them to guess. Have them step to the side and look behind the object. Explain that while we should ask for help, sometimes the true answer will only come after we move in faith and that often the direction of the movement doesn't matter as much as the fact that you're moving. Dicscuss how faith is a willingness to act or move.

Possible scriptures:

Mosiah 5:14

1 Samuel 3:1-10

Alma 5:37-38

1 Kings 19:11-13 

Galatians 5:1

Will I Be Happy When I Die?

The other day I was reading about how the wicked who die will enter a state of misery and sorrow in the next life. I have also read many scriptures that teach that the spirit which possesses us when we die will be the same spirit and that those who are happy will be happy still and those who are miserable will be miserable still. I've wondered how it's possible that both of these teachings could be true. How can we continue in whatever state we are in and yet the wicked be miserable and the righteous happy. In many cases it seems that the wicked are quite content with their lives, even happy. What happens when they die? Do they enter a state of misery or do they continue in the state of contentment and happiness they experience here?

I think the answer lies in our understanding of what happiness means. Happiness is the health of the spirit. What we usually refer to as happiness is not actually happiness. What we often describe instead are the symptoms of happiness, how my mortal body feels.

Just as I might say I am healthy because I see no signs of poor health, I might say I'm happy because I don't feel any of the symptoms of unhappiness. In both cases I may be right or wrong, what I am calling health or happiness is actually my best guess  at how happy I am based on my symptoms. I may have a serious medical condition that, if I were aware of it, would change my assessment of my health entirely.

The same is true of happiness. While I may feel no symptoms of unhappiness, I do not have a full knowledge of how happy I am right now. There is a delay in the signal from my Spirit to my mortal senses. Sometimes I do not realize that my spirit is unhappy until long after it has become unhappy. Alma said wickedness never was happiness. That means that as soon as I've sinned, I have become less happy. I do not always sense that immediately though because I have a body which delays that message. This delay is a great blessing. It allows us to correct our unhappiness before the full pain of the consequences takes effects. It also is the only way that we can learn to live by faith. The body is the main faith-building tool we have. Without it, I could immediately see that my spirit is happier when I obey and less happy when I disobey. This would mean that I make choices based on immediate consequences and never gain the ability to see using my eyes of faith. 

This is why I believe both statements about death are true. Those who are happy will be happy still, but those who are miserable shall be miserable still. The truth is that while wickedness may not always feel unhappy, wickedness never was happiness. The health of the Spirit is immediately influenced by the good and bad choices we make. 

The Lord prolonged our days so that the consequences of our choices would not follow immediately, thus we could learn to use our faith. We were given mortal bodies which delayed and veiled our full understanding of the condition of our spirits. 

So why will the wicked be miserable when they die? It is because they will no longer have a body to soften and veil the symptoms of their unhappiness. In essence, have a body allows us to numb ourselves to the condition of our spirits, like a painkiller. 

While painkillers can be a blessing so that we can fix injuries while alleviating pain, they can also be a challenge when they are used to shield ourselves from the truth about our health. In the same way, the body can be used to numb the pain of sin, which can be a blessing as we seek to repent, but we can often abuse the body's numbing power to shield us from an awareness of our own spiritual health. 

There are all kinds of ways to distract oneself from the pain of sin. Most of them involve turning up the volume in some form. Music, laughter, activity, video games, distraction, anger, aggression, pride, pleasure, lust, hunger, drugs. Many who are unhealthy in spirit will increase the volume in areas like these so that they don't have to hear the whisper of the Spirit, telling the truth about their condition.

When the wicked die, they lose access to their painkiller (the body). They can no longer numb themselves or hide the condition of their spirit because spirit is all they are. The full effect of their wicked and unhealthy lifestyle is now immediately brought upon them. It's not that the Lord imposes some form of outside punishment on them, but that they are punished by their own choices. 

Those who have taken the time to address their spiritual health and care for themselves continue to enjoy the happiness they had developed in life. Losing their body (painkillers) does not bother them because they maximized their time in life by healing the conditions rather than numbing the symptoms. 

Teaching moment: teach a child the difference between medicine that heals the problem and medicine that numbs the pain. Explain that without healing the problem, numbing will only work temporarily and can actually lead to greater pain. The dentist might be an easy example to use because the numbness very noticeable and most people have experienced it.

Scriptures:

2 Nephi 2:21

Alma 34:31-35

Alma 40:11-14

Alma 41:10

2 Nephi 9:13-16

Mormon 9:3-4, 13-14

1 Nephi 17:45-46

Ephesians 4:17-19

Mormon 2:13-14

President Henry B. Eyring

"Every person born into the world receives the Light of Christ, which helps us see and feel what is right and what is wrong. God has sent mortal servants who can, by the Holy Ghost, help us recognize what He would have us do and what He forbids. God makes it attractive to choose the right by letting us feel the effects of our choices. If we choose the right, we will find happiness—in time. If we choose evil, there comes sorrow and regret—in time. Those effects are sure. Yet they are often delayed for a purpose. If the blessings were immediate, choosing the right would not build faith. And since sorrow is also sometimes greatly delayed, it takes faith to feel the need to seek forgiveness for sin early rather than after we feel its sorrowful and painful effects." (A Priceless Heritage of Hope)

Memories that Move Us

As Alma preaches to a falling people, he first reminds them of the captivity and struggles of their fathers. I find his questions interesting. "Have you sufficiently retained in remembrance?" Why did he ask that question instead of "do you remember?" How much remembrance must we retain in order for it to be sufficient? I think sufficient remembrance is enough to change your behavior. You have sufficient memory when memory moves you. 

In the way Alma is teaching it, memory is not something you have, it is a faith filled action. It is something you work to develop. I don't simply remember things, I seek to remember and I choose what to remember. My mind and my memory are shaped by the choices I make. 

This again comes back to agency. Memory is not thrust on us, especially a memory of righteous things. We work to create that memory and expand it. We shape it. We plant and nourish and reap the garden of the heart.

So is memory based in the mind or in the heart? I'm guessing both. The facts are stored in the mind but the emotional connection is stored in the heart. So in order to have a memory that changes me, I need to choose to take an experience from the realm of facts to the realm of feelings. The Spirit can do this for me. It can create an emotional charge to my memories that leaves an impression on my heart so that a memory now has emotive power. I read today that the word emotion means to move to action. It is emotion that moves us, not fact.

This also makes me think that sufficient isn't actually in reference to an amount of remembering but of a type, location and depth of memory. A memory that is sufficient to change me is one that is charged with feeling. It is emotive, meaning it moves me or puts me in motion. This means that a memory has sunk deeper into my soul than the thinking brain. It has sunk down into the heart. At this point gospel knowledge becomes gospel fuel that motivates-it is emotive. 

While Enos hunted in the woods he said that the words which he had often heard his father speak sank deep into his heart. I like the idea of his memories "sinking in" because there is not really a better way to describe the process of a thought or word slowly moving from the mind to the heart. This is the movement from knowledge to understanding. Every memory has two parts then, the facts and the feelings.

For Enos, the gospel which he had always known was sinking to a different location. This leads to my other thought about how to get a thought or memory from knowledge to feeling. I think it's another way to interpret Alma's question "have you sufficiently retained in remembrance?" I picture a chamber in the thinking brain labeled memory. I also picture that it has a sandy base into which thoughts can slowly sink. Whatever thought or memory is in this chamber represents what I am currently thinking about. When Alma says to retain certain events in remembrance sufficiently, I picture this thought or memory being allowed to remain in the chamber of thought long enough that it begins to sink. Distraction means I pull the thought back to the surface and momentarily replace it with another. When I return to the thought I must start afresh to let it sink in again. This is why distraction is so dangerous. It is also why pondering is one of the most powerful tools of learning. It is retaining a particular thought in remembrance with focused effort long enough to allow a thought to sink.

This describes well the experience of Joseph Smith. 

"Never did any passage of scripture come with more power to the heart of man than this did at this time to mine. It seemed to enter with great force into every feeling of my heart. I reflected on it again and again, knowing that if any person needed wisdom from God, I did; for how to act I did not know, and unless I could get more wisdom than I then had, I would never know; for the teachers of religion of the different sects understood the same passages of scripture so differently as to destroy all confidence in settling the question by an appeal to the Bible.

At length I came to the conclusion that I must either remain in darkness and confusion, or else I must do as James directs, that is, ask of God. I at length came to the determination to “ask of God,” concluding that if he gave wisdom to them that lacked wisdom, and would give liberally, and not upbraid, I might venture."

It was only after lengthy reflection and continually retaining this thought in remembrance that Joseph came to the conclusion to act on it.

I think I need to work on not only remembering things, but retaining them in remembrance until things (factual) become fuel (emotive). I will need to develop greater self discipline to keep distractions from uprooting my sinking memory.

Teaching moment: While baking a meal or treat, point out that in order for the ingredients to become what they're supposed to be, they must be allowed time to be changed by steady and constant heat. Putting the pan in the oven for 2 minutes 30 times does not have the same effect as baking it for 60 minutes. Discuss how the mind is like an oven and the importance of pondering and retaining inspired words and thoughts in remembrance. Discuss how distraction is like switching pans in and out of the mind and can prevent us from growing or being changed.

Possible ideas to teach: scriptures, study, church, faith, the Holy Ghost, pondering, repentance, change, testimony, learning, memory, habits, goals, change

Possible Scripture References:

Enos 1:1-8

JSH 1:8-14

2 Nephi 4:15-16

Deuteronomy 4:9

D&C 138:1-11

D&C 76:15-20

1 Samuel 3:1-10

3 Nephi 11:1-7

In the Name of Christ or in the Name of Bryce?

When I close a prayer or talk in the name of Jesus Christ, I am affirming that what I have said has been said in His name, meaning it is aligned with His will. In other words I have said and done what He would have said and done. This puts more responsibility on me to learn how to both know and do His will.

The object of prayer is not to change the will of God, but to secure for ourselves blessings which God is ready to give, but which are dependent on our asking for them. The purpose of prayer is for the child to bring his will into alignment with the will of his Father. I believe this is true both of individual prayers and of a lifetime prayer relationship with God. My purpose is to engage in a process of speaking, listening, feeling and asking so that I can become more familiar with the voice of God and the workings of the Spirit. I think the real purpose of prayer is to learn to recognize His voice.

When the Nephites disciples prayed, we are told that they did not multiply many words because it was given them by the Spirit what to pray for. We also know that because angels speak by the Holy Ghost, they speak the words of Christ. So when we speak, or pray by the Spirit, we are speaking and praying the words of Christ. 

We are taught that when we ask the Father in the name of Christ, we will be given whatsoever we ask. We might mistakenly believe that this means we say the name of Jesus Christ as we speak. In reality it means that we speak and pray by inspiration and ask for that which the Lord desires to give us and at the time He desires to give it. 

When I ask the Father in the name of Christ, He will always answer me. This is because the mind of Christ is one with the mind of the Father, so Christ will only ask for that which it is His Father's will to bestow. So every prayer is answered. He did not need to speak many words because not a single word was wasted.

He did not use the shotgun prayer approach, asking for lots an lots of different things hoping He might get a few of them correct. He used the sharpshooter approach, He only asked that which it was His Father's will that He ask. He never attempted a miracle only to find out that it wasn't God's will to perform. Never a wasted bullet because He didn't pray for that which was not right with the Father's will. 

Christ was known for His ability to do so much with so few words. He was not known for lengthy and sparkling orations, but for simple, understandable and penetrating messages that change hearts. "He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her." Was the simplest response to a very complex and difficult situation. He did not multiply words.

When I become aligned with the will of Christ, everything I ask is granted. I receive the sealing power. Nephi had the sealing power because he never asked that which was not the will of God. He always prayed in the name of Christ. If this is the case, I too will have the sealing power when I learn to live and act in the name of Christ. Then everything I pray will be fulfilled because I will have learned to ask for what He is ready to give me. 

This requires that I come to know the voice of the Spirit so well that I can always speak in the Spirit. I don't think this means that we shouldn't ask for things we want or we should be scared to ask God because we might guess wrong. I think it means that we don't pray with the purpose of changing God's will, but of learning how to know it.

I have thought then, what about the times when I have prayed for what I desired and it was granted? This doesn't mean I changed the will of God, but that I had recognized an inspired desire. 

The explanation on the revelation of the priesthood points out that church leaders had been moved upon by an inspired desire to extend the priesthood to all worthy males. In other words, the Spirit prompted them to ask for it. 

When Alma and Amulek stood by the pit and watched the believers burn, Amulek sought to save them, Alma knew it was not in the Lord's will. He knew that, while Amulek's desire was borne of love, it was not in the name of Christ. 

I don't think it's wrong to pray for our desires, there is no other way to learn the difference between an inspired desire and  an uninspired one.

Once, after studying this topic, Tiah and I decided to try it. For fast Sunday, we decided to pray about what we should pray about. While we have struggled with the inability to have children and have often felt a desire to fast for children, we felt that this day we should fast for gratitude. To me it seemed like a waste of  a fast. If I was going to go 24 hours without food, I ought to be able to ask for something I wanted, like children. However, we decided to try it. Maybe there really was a difference between praying in the name of Christ and praying in the name of Bryce.

By the end of that day, we had had one of the most refreshing and fulfilling fasts I had ever experienced. The gift of gratitude had been given along with about 100 other subtle and powerful blessings. We almost laughed at ourselves near the end of the day when we realized that children, money, security and any other "blessing" would still leave us unhappy if we didn't have gratitude. With gratitude, happiness could be ours whatever our circumstance. We realized how foolish it would have been to continue asking for things to make us happy without first receiving the gift that is the heart and soul of happiness, gratitude. I believe The Lord made this particular answer very easy to recognize in order to reinforce to me the importance of praying in the name of Christ, not Bryce.

I have wondered how the desire to have children could ever be uninspired since families are the heart of God's plan. I have realized that prayer is not only about asking for the right thing, but also aligning our wills with the right time, the Lord's time. He doesn't set His watch to mine, I must learn to set my watch to His. That, or always wonder why my trials are arriving early and my blessings always late.

John the Baptist had a role to fulfill in preparing the people for the coming of the Savior. Several of Christ's apostles were chosen from among the disciples of John. He could not have performed this role if he had been born 40 or 50 years earlier. He was born exactly on time, according to God's clock, although ridiculously late according to Zachariah's and Elisabeth's.

My purpose then is to learn to live in the Spirit, which will make me one with God and Christ. If I do this, I will be living in the name of Christ. I will have the sealing power, and not one word I speak will the Lord allow to fall to the ground. Until then, all I can do is practice.

Teaching moment: play go fish or a similar type of card game. On one round invite your child to come and play while looking at your hand from your perspective (so they can see what you have). Point out that when they can see things the way you do, they know very easily what to ask for. Discuss how when we become more familiar with the way the Lord speaks and sees things, we can know exactly what to pray for and exactly what to say.

Possible concepts: prayer, faith, recognizing the Spirit, unity, humility, repentance, inspiration, teaching, speaking, revelation, the Holy Ghost

Possible scriptures

Bible Dictionary: "Prayer"

3 Nephi 19:23-25

2 Nephi 32:1-9

Helaman 10:3-10

Alma 14:10-13

D&C 46:30-31

1 Samuel 3:19

1 Samuel 9:6,9

John 17:3, 21-23

Matthew 6:7-13

2 Nephi 4:35

James 1:5-6

Thou Shalt Not Hurry

I have often wondered why Alma said he sinned in his wish to be an angel who could cry repentance with a loud voice. It seemed to me like to desire to be an angel was a righteous desire, not a sin. As I have continued to study, I have had the realization that even a righteous desire can become a sin if it robs us of our gratitude and blinds us to the blessings we have received. 

I think that true contentment is for mind, heart and body to all be in the same place at the same time. D&C 93:33-34 says that the body and spirit inseparably connected can receive a fulness of joy. D&C 138:50 says that disembodied spirits looked at their separation from their bodies as bondage. I believe that true happiness is to be fully present. If my body is here but my heart is somewhere else or somewhen else, I am dissatisfied, or in bondage.

Alma recognized that he ought to be content with what The Lord had given him to do at that time. 

I think this can be really frustrating because, while mind and heart can travel to past and future, the body is stuck in the moment. So we spent so much energy trying (in vain) to speed up time so that our bodies can be where our hearts are. We speed when we drive, we walk extra fast, we take shortcuts. All without realizing that rapidly changing location does not in fact change time at all, time passes at the same rate, and if my heart is set on some future event, no amount of hurrying from place to place can get me to where I desire. The most ironic thing of all is how often we finally reach that place in time only to realize that our heart is now behind us and we long to be where we already were.

We can easily get caught with our hearts and minds in the future or the past. This is bondage. We never actually are where (or when) our hearts want to be. 

I think that is what Alma recognized. If my heart is on being somewhere or something else, I am neglecting the gift I actually have before me. 

I have recently tried an experiment to remind myself to stay in the moment. I have tried to always go just under the speed limit. It has been amazing to me how tempted I have been to speed up, either thinking it will "save time" or fearing that those around me will be angry. It has been helpful because each time I am tempted to speed up, I am reminded of why I'm not. I will probably spend about 1,000 times more time traveling to my destination as I will actually spend arriving at my destination. If this is the case, I must learn to make traveling its own destination. Journeying should not be the chore between life's moments, it should be it's own special type of moment. It has been an interesting experiment and I'm thinking of adopting it permanently. It may be my little way of reminding myself the futility of fighting against time.

If I want to be happy, I must learn to be content with my current situation. True happiness comes when I am fully present. My mind, heart and body are in the same place at the same time.

Teaching moment: while watching a movie, reading a book (or a scripture story), eating dinner, riding in the car or sitting in the family room, try to identify 5 or 10 (or 50) things you had not noticed before. Discuss how slowing down allows us to see and experience things that we miss when we are in a hurry. Discuss the dangers of trying to rush through things that are important.

Possible Concepts to teach: gratitude, joy, love, peace, Spirit, contentment, calm, agency, happiness, worship

Possible scriptures:

Alma 29:1-4

D&C 59:14-21

D&C 88:15

D&C 93:33-34

D&C 128:50

2 Nephi 2:25

Matthew 25:14-29