Is this a Prompting or am I just Paranoid?

One of the most common questions that is asked about the Spirit is how we can tell whether or not a prompting is coming from the Spirit or whether it is simply the product of my own thoughts. The most common answer that is given is that if a thought leads you to do good, follow it. If you feel a prompting to take a treat to a neighbor, whether it comes from the Spirit or oneself is irrelevant because every good thing (or thought) originates from Christ anyway. This answer is simple and true, it seems to remove all questions regarding recognizing the Spirit. However, the question continues to be asked, how can I tell? This is because not all promptings are obviously good or bad. The prompting to visit a widow or help someone with a car problem can be easily attributed to the Spirit, but what about the prompting to go to the grocery store at 2:00 AM? What if you feel like you should return home early from a trip or avoid a trip altogether? What about the promptings to back out of a home purchase before signing the contract or to move to a new city? These kinds of promptings can have major consequences that range from inconvenient to disasterous, yet they are not so easy to judge as good or bad. Going to the store at 2:00 AM isn't inherently good or bad, it's morally neutral. I believe these are the promptings that confuse us and prompt the questions about recognizing the Spirit.

The truth is that voice matters more than message. There is no real pattern (other than the one already mentioned) that you can apply to the prompting to know whether it comes from God. You won't always be able to know by the message, sometimes the only way to know is by the voice that gives it. We must become so familiar with the Lord that we recognize His voice clearly and distinctly from all other voices. This is a process that takes a lot of time and effort.

It reminds me of the story told by Elder Allan F. Packer:

“When I was a young man in high school, one of my passions was American football. I played middle linebacker. The coach worked the team hard, teaching us the basics. We practiced until the skills became natural and automatic. During one play against our biggest rival, I had an experience that has helped me over the years. We were on defense. I knew my assigned opponent, and as the play unfolded, he moved to my right into the line of scrimmage. There was a lot of noise from players and fans. I reacted as the coach had taught us and followed my man into the line, not knowing if he had the ball. To my surprise, I felt the ball partially in my hands. I gave it a tug, but my opponent didn’t let go. As we tugged back and forth, amid all the noise I heard a voice yelling, ‘Packer, tackle him!’ That was enough to bring me to my senses, so I dropped him on the spot.

“I have wondered how I heard that voice above all the other noise. I had become acquainted with the voice of the coach during the practices, and I had learned to trust it. I knew that what he taught worked.

“We need to be acquainted with the promptings of the Holy Ghost, and we need to practice and apply gospel teachings until they become natural and automatic. These promptings become the foundation of our testimonies” (“Finding Strength in Challenging Times!” Ensign or Liahona, May 2009, 17).

In Elder Packer's story, the right action wasn't discernible by an analysis of the many messages being shouted but because he recognized the voice of his coach. 

I think that the question "how do I know whether a prompting comes from God or not?" is fundamentally flawed because it focuses on the prompting itself rather than the voice which is the only true way to know. Perhaps it would be more useful to ask, "how can I better recognize the Lord's voice when He speaks to me?"

Answers to this question come much more readily and in abundance, I have a few thoughts in response. 

1. Failing doesn't make me a failure

Remembering that the Savior's Atonement means that there is no mistake I can make that He can't fix gives me the freedom to fail without being a failure. "Stand fast in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free." How do we honor the freedom Christ purchased with His sacrifice? I think we stand fast in freedom when we replace the fear of ruining things with the faith of trying things. For example, while the prompting to share the gospel or my testimony is obviously good, I have at times wondered whether what I say or how I say it will offend someone and therefore cause negative results. When I understand that Christ can fix any unforeseen consequences, I am free to try to do what's right without having to fear permanent damage. In other words, Christ purchased the freedom to try. To stand fast in that freedom means to not attempt to seek answers by thinking that ought to be obtained by doing. Faith means action and there is no shortcut to recognizing God's voice. It cannot be done by study alone, but also by faith, or action. This means that in the situation I mentioned, I share my testimony and trust that if I fail, God can fix the problems and I can learn a better way to try it next time.

2. Move your feet and keep your ears open.

We must learn to keep walking and continue to listen. Sometimes the answers to our questions are not visible from our current position. We may keep praying for the Lord to tell us which way to go when if we would only take two steps in any direction we would realize that we were standing directly behind a tree and the way to go would become obvious. Sometimes the answer is movement, or a change of position. Too often we fall victim to paralysis by analysis. We can debate all day about what could or couldn't be behind the tree or we could take two steps and know for sure. There is no substitute for work and motion.

“What do you do when you have prepared carefully, have prayed fervently, waited a reasonable time for a response, and still do not feel an answer? You may want to express thanks when that occurs, for it is an evidence of [Heavenly Father’s] trust. When you are living worthily and your choice is consistent with the Savior’s teachings and you need to act, proceed with trust. As you are sensitive to the promptings of the Spirit, one of two things will certainly occur at the appropriate time: either the stupor of thought will come, indicating an improper choice, or the peace or the burning in the bosom will be felt, confirming that your choice was correct. When you are living righteously and are acting with trust, God will not let you proceed too far without a warning impression if you have made the wrong decision.”

Elder Richard G. Scott of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, “Using the Supernal Gift of Prayer,” Ensign, May 2007, 10.

3. There is no substitute for time on the lake.

When my dad first took me fishing he taught me that I would know when I had a bite because the tip of my pole would pull down or shake. I would watch and wait and when it would move I would yank the pole and start reeling like crazy. Most the time I found no fish on my hook. I soon learned that a pull on the rod could be actually be caused by many things, including waves, snags or a brother kicking the pole from behind. While I have not become as much of a master fisherman as I would like to be, I have learned that there is no substitute for time on the lake. Others can describe to me exactly how the pole will react or how I should respond, but in reality I will not learn to be a great fisherman until I get the feel for fishing. 

A few weeks ago I fished with my brother who fishes almost on a daily basis. I caught two fish. Both times I was not even sure I had caught anything until I had reeled the fish for a while. As it grew darker I strained to watch the line to see when it grew tight. I stooped close to the water to try to see my line in the sunlight. As he stood upright and reeled like a normal person I asked him how he could see his line. He told me he doesn't really look at the line, he just feels the fish when they bite. While I struggled to fish in the dark he went right on fishing as usual. I realized that while he could describe to me what I would see and feel when I had a fish on, the only real way to know was to spend time in the water learning to feel the difference. I would probably reel a lot of bites with no fish and probably catch a few fish I didn't know were biting, but in the process I would learn to recognize the difference. I believe the same is true of the Spirit. We can ask what it feels like and others can describe it, which helps, but the only real way to know is to "spend time on the lake." 

Teaching moment: take your child fishing. Explain to them that fishing takes time and practice. Encourage them to set the hook and reel if they feel they think they might have a bite and that they will soon come to recognize the difference. Discuss parallels to promptings of the Spirit.

Have a child stand behind a large obstacle. Ask them if they know what is behind it. Invite them to guess. Have them step to the side and look behind the object. Explain that while we should ask for help, sometimes the true answer will only come after we move in faith and that often the direction of the movement doesn't matter as much as the fact that you're moving. Dicscuss how faith is a willingness to act or move.

Possible scriptures:

Mosiah 5:14

1 Samuel 3:1-10

Alma 5:37-38

1 Kings 19:11-13 

Galatians 5:1

The Learning Pattern of Acting

Learning by study and also by faith. Real learning is an act of both the body and the mind. In fact, while we mostly associate knowledge with the mind, it is usually best produced by the use of our bodies. The use of the body shapes the mind and prepares it to receive and retain light and knowledge. Preparation and application are the keys to gaining light and truth.

I have been pondering how important it is to identify specific actions that I can do in order to act on what I know. I have realized that so much of the power of my scripture study is lost when I fail to convert it into action that changes me. For example, I might say after studying my scriptures that I will be more kind. While I might say I have set a goal to act, all I have done is made a wish about how to react because I'm too lazy to or don't know how to make a commitment to act. If the goal is to bind ourselves to act, then I must have something real to bind myself to. How do I bind myself to act "more kindly?" There is nothing concrete to anchor my commitment to, it is a wish about how I will react. So how do I turn a wishful reaction into a concrete action? I must seek inspiration to specify my goal. For example, to whom will I be more kind? When? And how? What will I do? If I can answer these questions then I am much closer to a true action. 

I have found that the Lord has provided a perfect learning laboratory in which I can constantly practice my gospel actions. It is called the family. This is the ideal place to apply gospel principles. Almost always when I ask the questions "to whom will I be kinder?" "When will I be kinder to them?" And "what will I do to show more kindness?" The first answer that comes to mind relates to my family. For me, usually my wife. 

I think this pattern of acting to become what I am learning is really essential to my growth. For example tonight I attended a fireside in which President Brown spoke about family history. I left feeling that I should do better at family history. But I did not set a goal. I simply said, I will do better. When will I do better? How will I do better? What specifically could I do to be better? I realized that I rarely set real goals based on what I've learned. Most of my goals are actually wishes. I am not binding myself to act in holiness, I am wishing I was better at reacting in all holiness. I think that this approach requires that I recognize two objectives that lead to change. Knowing which one I am struggling with will show me what path to take towards improvement. 

The first objective is the formation of a habit. For many of my problem habits and behaviors, the solution is to develop a counter-habit. Good habits are an effort to tame the natural man, to reign him in. This is the value of a check yes or no approach to obedience. It provides a natural man incentive to defeat the natural man. The other objective is to make our habits holy, or to translate them to a higher plane. At this point I am not as focused on reigning in the natural man as I am on developing the strength of the spiritual man. This is where I move beyond the yes or no box into the realm of good better best. 

I must evaluate whether my struggle is one with bridling the natural man or of strengthening the Spiritual man. Obviously these two objectives are intertwined and affect each other. They are not separate, but by noticing the nature of my goal I can prescribe the appropriate remedy. For example, my goal is to be better at doing family history. Right now I believe my greatest resistance to that goal is in my natural tendency to procrastinate and be lazy. I tend to be lazy in the mental effort it takes to prioritize my time and to be lazy in the effort it takes to actually do the work. I believe I have a testimony of family history and temple work but it has reached it's highest potential growth based on the action I have put into it. My next course of action is to bridle the natural man. So I will set a specific goal to at least log in to my family search account once a day. This one small action may seem insignificant, but to be honest, it is much more than I am doing currently. And ironically the reason I am doing so little now is that I feel there is far too much to do! When I have mastered my natural man to the point that logging on once a day is not difficult at all, I may choose to increase the level of effort to looking up an ancestor at least 5 generations back. That's all! 

I might see a goal like this and think it is useless because it accomplished nothing. But to be honest, while my goal is the taming of my natural man, I will be doing more than many are doing and infinity times more than I was doing before. Following this pattern I continue to bridle the natural man. In the mean time, I am attending my meetings, studying my scriptures, saying my prayers and strengthening my spiritual man. So I am working in both directions although my focus at this point is on the habit. 

As another example, I am currently in the habit of praying, reading, and writing in my journal every day. Those actions are second nature now and require little thought and usually much less willpower to at least do. So my goal with these is not as much to develop a habit as it is to strengthen the Spirit and improve the habit. This will lead to different goals and more experimentation with better methods. For example, because I do not need to worry about whether or not I will be saying my morning prayers today, I can set goals and try methods to improve them. Like pondering what questions I could ask the Lord to make my prayers more effective. Or how might kneeling upright, or speaking aloud or praying in a different location change my experience? What could I do to get myself into the proper mindset and the right attitude to have a meaningful conversation with God? What could I study in the scriptures to strengthen my understanding of how prayer works? These are all avenues I can explore to improve my prayers, which are now habitually ingrained. If I fall out of a habit, I start back at the place were I need to to redevelop it.

It is important to remember that we do not need to run faster than we have strength because this is one of the most tempting things for us to do and one of the most common reasons we fail to change.

When I first started running, I found a lot of excitement in seeing my fitness progress. Too soon I started focusing on beating my run times and running started to become something I dreaded. I stopped feeling a desire to go because I was too worried about beating my time. When I realized this I decided that instead of focusing on how fast I ran, I would just focus on enjoying developing the habit. I would work first on subduing the natural man until running itself was no longer daunting. I stopped timing each mile and focused instead on pushing myself at a slightly uncomfortable pace for a certain period of time. It wasn't about minutes per mile anymore it was just about minutes. Once I made this commitment, running became fun again and I started to feel less dread about going. My focus had changed because I realized that my natural man needed to be subdued before he could be chiseled.

Possible scriptures:

John 7:17

Ether 12:6, 12, 18

D&C 43:8-9

Becoming Capable of Eternal Life

President Howard W. Hunter spoke of watching a longboat race in Samoa. 

"After the race, Elder Hunter walked to where the boats were docked and spoke with one of the oarsmen, who explained that the prow of the long-boat “is so constructed that it cuts through and divides the water to help overcome the resistance that retards the speed of the boat. He further explained that the pulling of the oars against the resistance of the water creates the force that causes the boat to move forward. Resistance creates both the opposition and the forward movement." (HWH manual ch. 3)

When I first read this story I thought it was strange that the purpose of this sport is to use resistance to propel oneself through resistance. I asked myself what could be the point. I realized that the point is not the boat, or the speed, or the water, it's all about the rowers. The resistance is necessary for the rowers to become stronger. Without resistance, the rowers could not be changed! There could be no muscle development or growth without resistance. 

The Lord's purpose is not so much to get the boat and its members to a certain destination, but for the rowers to become something divine. His work is to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man. This goal is about the condition of the man himself, not his location. 

In order to have eternal life, a person must be capable of eternity. His soul must be infinite or else he cannot comprehend or enjoy infinite joy or fulfillment. Immortality refers to quantity (how much life). Eternal life is quality (how good is life). I can only receive that which I am capable of receiving. As I live by celestial law, I become capable of feeling celestial things. 

Joy is not something we receive, it is something we create as our souls process our experiences. The more refined my soul, the more joy it is capable of creating. For the Lord to give us eternal life when we are not eternal beings would not be a gift. We would not appreciate it and we would not be able to use it. It is a useless gift unless I'm capable of enjoying it. It would be like giving binoculars to a blind man or new shoes to a man without feet. It would not only be useless, but even hurtful. It would be a constant reminder of what you cannot have or do. The Lord will bless each of His children with the very most they are capable of receiving.

Eternal life cannot be possessed, it is not handed from one to another any more than physical fitness is. Eternal life is who we become, not what we are given. 

Teaching moment: Give a child a gift he or she is not able to use or fully enjoy (clothes that don't fit, a book in a foreign language) or part of a gift but not enough to use it (wheels without a bike, a case without a phone, batteries without a toy etc). Explain that Heaven isn't just what you get, it is also your ability to enjoy it. If you don't become who you need to become, you will not be able to use or enjoy that gift. (After explaining this concept, it may be wise to give the rest of the gift and discuss how happiness is both having the gift and having the ability to use it). You could also discuss how opposition or resistance is the key to becoming who we need to be.

Possible concepts to teach: opposition, trials, agency, choice, eternal life, becoming, repentance, faith, change, diligence, discipline, plan of salvation

Possible scriptures:

D&C 88:32-33

2 Nephi 9:14

Mormon 9:3-4

2 Nephi 2:10-16

Moses 1:39

2 Kings 4:1-7

John 17:3

"Total Freedom" can be Bondage

I think freedom means the ability to act. The whole point of the plan of salvation is for us to be free. Lately, Tiah and I have talked a lot about fitness, and on of my favorite ways to describe the value of fitness is "fit is free." Before I started getting fit, I was greatly inhibited in my ability to act as I pleased. My body could not perform the functions I wanted it to. Ironically, this was a result if my "free" diet. Being free to eat and do anything I felt like actually brought me into physical bondage. I always think back to a time before we started to change when I was playing in the area turkey bowl. I remember being so out of shape that I couldn't do what I wanted to do. I could see where a play was headed and know in my mind what needed to be done, but my body lacked the physical capacity to execute. Because I chose to live free of dietary rules, I lost my freedom. 

So many people respond to healthy eating, diet and an active lifestyle with the attitude that it is too hard and too restrictive. The don't like the idea of having to monitor what they eat. It feels like it takes away their freedom. In my experience, the greatest bondage we can bring upon ourselves comes from abusing "freedom" and refusing restraint.

To me, this is exactly what the plan of salvation is all about. Heavenly Father wants us to be as free as He is. This does not mean that we rise above the law, but that we obey the laws that govern freedom perfectly. We become perfect in restraint and it sets us free. Today's modern society hates the idea that God has rules and expectations. They see God, if He exists at all, as an indulgent, lasse fair type of parent who will support them in any wickedness they choose to uphold. They do not seem to understand that a parent who demands nothing of his children is not loving, but powerless, blind, and a failure. Why? Because he cannot see that the greatest good of the child is to make a choice and have the ability to act on it. 

I should respond to commandments the way I am learning to respond to new fitness information. I am excited when I learn something new about how my body works because I can then begin to obey that law and receive more freedom. Rules increase the level of freedom I am able to enjoy. 

I believe that the whole plan of God was for us to become as free as He is. Immortality and eternal life means eternal freedom. That's his whole work and glory. To set His children free forever.

Just as physical freedom requires the strengthening and maintaining of my body, eternal freedom requires the strengthening and maintaining of my soul. 

Teaching moment- have a child do a difficult exercise (like running, playing or doing push-ups) while carrying or pulling a very heavy weight. Explain to them that the laws of God are meant to set us free and that The Lord has identified those behaviors which will take away our ability to act freely through commandments. After sufficient time, have them repeat the activity without the weight and note the difference in ability to move freely. Point out that when The Lord invites us to eliminate certain behaviors in our lives, He is doing so in order bring freedom.

Possible ideas to teach: repentance, obedience, faith, commandments, law, love, parenting, LDS, Mormon, religion, freedom, agency, liberty, self-discipline, change.

Possible references: 

2 Nephi 2:16

2 Nephi 2:25-27

D&C 93:33-34