What the Scriptures Teach About Love

There is a connection between my obedience to commandments and my ability to love. 

King Benjamin taught his people to obey the commandments "that they might rejoice and be filled with love towards God and all men" (Mosiah 2:4). Alma counseled Shiblon to bridle all his passions "that ye may be filled with love" (Alma 38:12). Paul taught that "the end of the commandment is charity" (1 Timothy 1:5). As we control our carnal desires and obey the commandments of God, our capacity to love is enhanced. The more I obey, the more I am capable of true love. For this reason, any effort in the world to promote love that is in opposition to God's commandments will not increase love, but destroy it.

Why does obedience bring love?

Paul taught that love is one of the fruits of the Spirit. This means that true love is not something I conjure, create, or stumble upon, it is a divine gift that is given by the Holy Ghost. True love goes beyond psychology, sociology or biology. It is spiritual in nature. 

Understanding this helps us see the connection between love and law. If love is a gift given by the Spirit, then that which invites the Spirit more abundantly will also increase my capacity to feel and show true love. On the other hand, Elder Neal A. Maxwell taught that sin "evicts the Holy Ghost from our soul. We lose the great value of His companionship, because He cannot abide in a sinful soul. And without His help, we then become less useful, less perceptive, less functional, and less loving human beings" (Reasons to Stay Pure, March 2003).

C. S. Lewis compared human souls to machines. He explained that commandments, or moral rules, are  "directions for running the human machine. Every moral rule is there to prevent a breakdown, or a strain, or a friction in the running of that machine" (Mere Christianity, 1978 ed. p. 69). Not only does disobedience evict the Holy Ghost from the soul, but it also damages the soul itself. 

When I was a teenager, I remember seeing a Mormonad with a picture of a young man sitting at a piano wearing boxing gloves. The caption at the bottom read "Living with unresolved sin is like playing the piano with boxing gloves—because sin blunts our ability to feel. Let’s free up our lives and then play our part with style" (January 1986). Elder Maxwell said that "When we lose our capacity to feel, it is because we have destroyed the taste buds of the soul" (Reasons to Stay Pure, March 2003). 

Sometimes we are tempted to think that we must choose between love and keeping the commandments. The world often argues that commandments get in the way of love. It also argues that if I don't accept a dangerous behavior as acceptable, I am being hateful. It's frustrating to see a culture so obsessed with the idea of love that they completely disregard and reject the conditions that lead to love. As Elder Maxwell observed "To [commit sin], in the name of love, is to destroy something precious in order to celebrate its existence wrongly" (Reasons to Stay Pure, March 2003). This attitude about sin and obedience probably flows from a misunderstanding of the purpose of obedience. President Dieter F. Uchtdorf suggested that we might need to change our perspective about obedience.

"But perhaps there is a different metaphor that can explain why we obey the commandments of God. Maybe obedience is not so much the process of bending, twisting, and pounding our souls into something we are not. Instead, it is the process by which we discover what we truly are made of.

"We are created by the Almighty God. He is our Heavenly Father. We are literally His spirit children. We are made of supernal material most precious and highly refined, and thus we carry within ourselves the substance of divinity.

"Here on earth, however, our thoughts and actions become encumbered with that which is corrupt, unholy, and impure. The dust and filth of the world stain our souls, making it difficult to recognize and remember our birthright and purpose.

"But all this cannot change who we truly are. The fundamental divinity of our nature remains. And the moment we choose to incline our hearts to our beloved Savior and set foot upon the path of discipleship, something miraculous happens. The love of God fills our hearts, the light of truth fills our minds, we start to lose the desire to sin, and we do not want to walk any longer in darkness.

"We come to see obedience not as a punishment but as a liberating path to our divine destiny. And gradually, the corruption, dust, and limitations of this earth begin to fall away. Eventually, the priceless, eternal spirit of the heavenly being within us is revealed, and a radiance of goodness becomes our nature" (He Will Place You on His Shoulders and Carry You Home, April 2016).

To see obedience in this way, we must have faith in God. We must do as King Benjamin counseled, which is to "Believe in God; believe that he is, and that he created all things, both in heaven and in earth; believe that he has all wisdom, and all power, both in heaven and in earth; believe that man doth not comprehend all the things which the Lord can comprehend" (Mosiah 4:9). We must understand what the Lord meant when He said "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts" (Isaiah 55:8-9).

When we don't believe or obey the commandments because we don't understand them, or because we think we have a better idea, it is often because we lack faith in Him- which is probably why faith in Jesus Christ is the first principle of the gospel. We sometimes assume that we actually know better how to care for the "human machine" than the one who created it. Infinite commandments don't always seem to make sense to finite minds. God is love, His commandments prepare us to love as He does, without the selfish and proud motives of worldly love.

In a talk about cultivating divine marital intimacy, Sister Nelson highlighted the importance of righteousness and purity for true love.

"Personal purity is the key to true love. The more pure your thoughts and feelings, your words and actions, the greater your capacity to give and receive true love" (Love and Marriage, January 2017).

Not only is the marital relationship enhanced by purity and obedience, but righteousness allows a depth of feeling and love in all our relationships that cannot be experienced by a sin-calloused spirit.

The two great commandments are "Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind...And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself" (Matthew 22:37-39). As I draw closer to God, I become a more refined and loving person. Love of my neighbor grows from my love for God. I want to strive to draw closer to God so that I can also be a better husband, friend, brother and neighbor.

In my efforts to be a more loving person, I believe my greatest strategy would be to search my life for the areas in which I am either evicting the Spirit from my life or the areas where I am failing to invite Him as fully as I could.

Memories that Move Us

As Alma preaches to a falling people, he first reminds them of the captivity and struggles of their fathers. I find his questions interesting. "Have you sufficiently retained in remembrance?" Why did he ask that question instead of "do you remember?" How much remembrance must we retain in order for it to be sufficient? I think sufficient remembrance is enough to change your behavior. You have sufficient memory when memory moves you. 

In the way Alma is teaching it, memory is not something you have, it is a faith filled action. It is something you work to develop. I don't simply remember things, I seek to remember and I choose what to remember. My mind and my memory are shaped by the choices I make. 

This again comes back to agency. Memory is not thrust on us, especially a memory of righteous things. We work to create that memory and expand it. We shape it. We plant and nourish and reap the garden of the heart.

So is memory based in the mind or in the heart? I'm guessing both. The facts are stored in the mind but the emotional connection is stored in the heart. So in order to have a memory that changes me, I need to choose to take an experience from the realm of facts to the realm of feelings. The Spirit can do this for me. It can create an emotional charge to my memories that leaves an impression on my heart so that a memory now has emotive power. I read today that the word emotion means to move to action. It is emotion that moves us, not fact.

This also makes me think that sufficient isn't actually in reference to an amount of remembering but of a type, location and depth of memory. A memory that is sufficient to change me is one that is charged with feeling. It is emotive, meaning it moves me or puts me in motion. This means that a memory has sunk deeper into my soul than the thinking brain. It has sunk down into the heart. At this point gospel knowledge becomes gospel fuel that motivates-it is emotive. 

While Enos hunted in the woods he said that the words which he had often heard his father speak sank deep into his heart. I like the idea of his memories "sinking in" because there is not really a better way to describe the process of a thought or word slowly moving from the mind to the heart. This is the movement from knowledge to understanding. Every memory has two parts then, the facts and the feelings.

For Enos, the gospel which he had always known was sinking to a different location. This leads to my other thought about how to get a thought or memory from knowledge to feeling. I think it's another way to interpret Alma's question "have you sufficiently retained in remembrance?" I picture a chamber in the thinking brain labeled memory. I also picture that it has a sandy base into which thoughts can slowly sink. Whatever thought or memory is in this chamber represents what I am currently thinking about. When Alma says to retain certain events in remembrance sufficiently, I picture this thought or memory being allowed to remain in the chamber of thought long enough that it begins to sink. Distraction means I pull the thought back to the surface and momentarily replace it with another. When I return to the thought I must start afresh to let it sink in again. This is why distraction is so dangerous. It is also why pondering is one of the most powerful tools of learning. It is retaining a particular thought in remembrance with focused effort long enough to allow a thought to sink.

This describes well the experience of Joseph Smith. 

"Never did any passage of scripture come with more power to the heart of man than this did at this time to mine. It seemed to enter with great force into every feeling of my heart. I reflected on it again and again, knowing that if any person needed wisdom from God, I did; for how to act I did not know, and unless I could get more wisdom than I then had, I would never know; for the teachers of religion of the different sects understood the same passages of scripture so differently as to destroy all confidence in settling the question by an appeal to the Bible.

At length I came to the conclusion that I must either remain in darkness and confusion, or else I must do as James directs, that is, ask of God. I at length came to the determination to “ask of God,” concluding that if he gave wisdom to them that lacked wisdom, and would give liberally, and not upbraid, I might venture."

It was only after lengthy reflection and continually retaining this thought in remembrance that Joseph came to the conclusion to act on it.

I think I need to work on not only remembering things, but retaining them in remembrance until things (factual) become fuel (emotive). I will need to develop greater self discipline to keep distractions from uprooting my sinking memory.

Teaching moment: While baking a meal or treat, point out that in order for the ingredients to become what they're supposed to be, they must be allowed time to be changed by steady and constant heat. Putting the pan in the oven for 2 minutes 30 times does not have the same effect as baking it for 60 minutes. Discuss how the mind is like an oven and the importance of pondering and retaining inspired words and thoughts in remembrance. Discuss how distraction is like switching pans in and out of the mind and can prevent us from growing or being changed.

Possible ideas to teach: scriptures, study, church, faith, the Holy Ghost, pondering, repentance, change, testimony, learning, memory, habits, goals, change

Possible Scripture References:

Enos 1:1-8

JSH 1:8-14

2 Nephi 4:15-16

Deuteronomy 4:9

D&C 138:1-11

D&C 76:15-20

1 Samuel 3:1-10

3 Nephi 11:1-7

Why I'm Glad to be a Weakling

I think I've always had an overactive sense of shame and guilt. At times, my perception of the Lord has been that of a Father who is disappointed in me and frustrated with my weakness. I have come to understand that God does not see me as I currently am, but as the eternal being that I was, that I am, and that I will be. So it's me (and other humans), not Him, who is surprised or flustered when I fall short. While I see weakness as what's holding me back from growing, He sees it as the very thing that's helping me grow.

For me it was a stunning revelation to learn that God does not only have a divine tolerance for our weakness, it is actually one of His greatest gifts to us. After Paul be sought the Lord "thrice" to remove one of the "thorns" in his flesh. In response, The Lord taught Paul to stop looking at the weakness of Paul and start looking at the grace of God. "And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong." 

(2 Corinthians 12:9-10). 

He responded to Moroni's insecurity as a writer in a very similar way: "And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them." 

(Ether 12:27)

I think if we slow down while we read this verse we will see something that can change the way we see weakness. I have always interpreted these verse more like this: "I understand that you are weak. I wish you wouldn't be but since you cannot really help it, I will tolerate your weakness and patch up your mistakes." What He actually said was "I give unto men weakness." He actually gave us weakness. It is a divine gift. Moroni later reminds us of a simple truth about all things that come from God: "But behold, that which is of God inviteth and enticeth to do good continually; wherefore, every thing which inviteth and enticeth to do good, and to love God, and to serve him, is inspired of God. Wherefore, take heed, my beloved brethren, that ye do not judge that which is evil to be of God, or that which is good and of God to be of the devil."

(Moroni 7:13-14)

If weakness is a gift from God and God only gives good gifts that invite us to do good, then we should remember that our weakness is not a roadblock or even an annoyance to His plan, but an essential ingredient. We must then be careful not to judge our weakness, which is a gift from God, as coming from the devil. In fact, the devil's tactic is for us to deny or hide our weakness. He must try to get us to believe that The Lord is disappointed in us for having weakness and so we ought to be ashamed to admit it. If this is our response to weakness, then, just as he does with all of God's gifts, satan can take a gift intended to turn us to God and try to use it to turn us away from Him.

This a concept that is beginning to make more sense to me. Weakness is not a curse, it is a God-given gift. If it were not for weakness, I could not understand the power and mercy of God. It isn't easy to see our weakness as reason to rejoice. It seems counterintuitive to rejoice in weakness. It is difficult to celebrate falling short. I think it requires a shift in attitude. We are prone to focus on the fact that we fell short of the mark rather than rejoice in the courage it took to jump and the peace of having one who is both willing and able to catch us. To focus on my weakness can cause me to forget the one who gives me strength. If all I'm worried about is that I didn't jump high enough, I forget what a gift it is to be able to jump and what a gift it is to have Savior to save me. 

It seems to me that too much of life is spent focusing on our failures and maybe not enough on rejoicing in our freedom. The Atonement of Jesus Christ has set us free forever. Free to run and jump and fall and try and fail. Because of Christ we need not fear to stumble or to fail because we have one who is mighty enough to heal and save us. 

I think too often instead of enjoying the freedom which has been bought for me, I sorrow in my weakness and essentially handcuff myself. Why bother living freely when I know I'm just going to fail again. The atonement of Jesus Christ paid my ransom, unlocked my prison cell and opened the door. 

Unfortunately I often remain in my cell, mourning my failures and my weakness. I pull the door closed and bemoan the fact that I feel so helpless. I think to myself that The Lord is so disappointed in me that He must surely expect that I remain in prison. When He tells me the price has been paid and all that is required is that I stand up and walk out, I think He must be kidding. Doesn't He know what I've done? 

Rather than focus on my weakness, I think it's time I start focusing on His strength. Rather than focus on my failures, I need to start focusing on His victory. Instead of focusing on how good I am at breaking things, I need to remember how good He is at fixing things.  Like the great and good in story, if we fail we fail with glory! Understanding God's gift of weakness will set me free forever to fail with glory.

True freedom then is to trust the atonement enough to rejoice in my weakness. Without my weakness, I could not know His grace. I would take a life full of "failures" that leads me to Christ over a life of "security" that keeps me isolated. He is the One who overcame all failure so that He could have the power to redeem us. "Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage." (Galatians 5:1)

Teaching Moment: Teach a child how to change a car tire. Have a child try to lift a car alone. When they are unable, talk about how a car jack works (or use one). Discuss how their inability to lift the car led them to seek something with more power. Point out that our weakness is meant to help us turn to the Lord for help and to rely on His strength. You could also point out that there is no shame in being unable to lift a car. Everyone has been given weakness, no one can succeed without seeking help. 

Celebrate weakness! Help a child or youth to develop a proper perspective on failure by congratulating them when they fail. Discuss how failure is not something to fear, but a divine gift. Turn their attention from the shortcoming of failure to the great blessing of trying again. Losing an athletic contest, or doing poorly on an assignment might be the perfect way to for their hearts to be prepared for a discussion about the Lord's great gift of weakness and a perfect opporunity to bear testimony of the strengthening power of the Atonement of Christ.

Possible ideas to teach: repentance, addiction, the Atonement, endure to the end, faith, fear, grace, strength, confession, sin.

Possible scripture references:

Ether 12:27

2 Corinthians 12:8-10

Moroni 7:13-14

Galatians 5:1

2 Nephi 2:26-27

Possible Discussion Question:

What are some of the scary things The Lord has helped you to overcome in your life?

A New Creature of Light

Why would Alma say we need to become new "creatures?" Why would He use that phrase instead of saying that we must all become new "people?" 

(Jan 29, 2015)

February 4, 2016

I wonder if new creatures is a reminder of who is behind this change. Becoming a new person might be attainable through will power and personal discipline. By definition, a creature must be created by some power outside itself. So my attempt to become a new creature, born again, does not depend on my effort alone. It will be the result of my surrendering the old creature to God so that He can create a new creature of me.

I believe that I must not just be born again, but I must be born again and again and again. I must not only become a new creature once, but over and over. Each time the Lord re-creates me, I should be a better creature than the one I was before.

I love the way Alma describes the change in him. He went from the darkest abyss, depression, and despair to light, joy, relief and peace. I know this feeling. I have felt it many times. Each time the dark abyss is replaced by the marvelous light of God, I too am reborn and become a new creature. There is a level of depth and certitude that wasn't there before. 

I think life is a process of walking through the dark and then seeing the light. Physically we go through these cycles. Night, day, night, day. Sometimes nights are longer, sometimes days are hazier. I think the longer we allow ourselves to be converted through this process, the more we are able to take the light of summer with us through the winter. We must become creatures more capable of producing light because our circumstances will bring light or darkness outside of our control. 

God wants us to become independent of our circumstances. Jesus Christ is the light of the world, He did not draw light from the world, but produced it. Because His light source was internal, even a stormy sea could not remove His peace. He slept calmly as His disciples frantically trembled. He walked on the water His disciples fought all night against. He stayed true to His purpose and His Father through the long night of the Atonement. He walked through darkness so that He could be a light to others. 

Light, like peace, must have its source in our hearts. Without the internal light no amount of external sunlight will be able to truly warm us and give us sight. With the internal light, no amount of external darkness can dim us. After writing about this this morning, I went to church and we sang "There is Sunshine in my Soul Today." I was amazed at how the words related. 

There is sunshine in my soul today

More glorious and bright

Than glows in any earthly sky

For Jesus is my light.

Oh, there’s sunshine, blessed sunshine

When the peaceful happy moments roll.

When Jesus shows his smiling face,

There is sunshine in the soul.

Teaching Moment: View a sunrise or sunset together. Discuss the pattern of day and night as a pattern for light. Discuss the difference between external light and internal light. One shines on us, one shines in us. Explain that with Christ, we can walk in the light even when external light disappears and we are surrounded by darkness. Without Christ, even sunlight isn't enough.

Possible concepts to teach: trials, conversion, testimony, faith, hope, Jesus Christ, Holy Ghost, growth, born again, baptism

Possible Scriptures:

Mosiah 27:24-29

3 Nephi 1:13-15

Alma 19:6

D&C 93:2