Showing posts with label patience. Show all posts
Showing posts with label patience. Show all posts

Wednesday, June 1, 2016

Teachers (like me) that Talk Too Much

In Alma 18:20-23 King Lamoni speaks words worth gold to a teacher or a missionary. After inviting Ammon to speak boldly, Lamoni assured Ammon "Yea, I will believe all thy words." I think Ammon's actions up to this point had all helped Lamoni to prepare his heart to receive his words. Ammon practiced patient teaching, which I think is one of the most difficult teaching skills that we can learn.

It is amazing to me that up to this point Ammon still hasn't preached anything. He still hasn't taught or rebuked or testified. His actions have done all the talking and everyone around him is confused by his power.

I think that by speaking up too soon he would have undermined the preparation of the people's hearts. The longer he went serving and living and acting by the Spirit, the more and more they wondered what his purpose and message was.

I wonder if occasionally we undermine our own efforts by saying too much and doing too little. I think that Ammon could have really weakened the Spirit's working on Lamoni by cutting him short in the preparation of his heart. Even after Lamoni asked him a question, Ammon still didn't immediately go into preaching mode. He answered it simply in a way that led to even more questions.

I think that the success of Ammon and all missionaries can only come when the hearts of those they teach are broken and ready. For a king who had committed so much sin, Ammon continued to wait for his heart to break until well after most of us would normally wait. I think this is what makes teaching an act of faith. It is an act of timing. It is not a science but an art!

I think that I need to learn the skill of patience. I need to learn how to listen and observe until Spirit says move, then move.

The patient teacher changes lives, while the hasty one can undermine the Spirit in fulfilling it's role. As we are patient and avoid rushing, we can better help others to prepare their hearts to receive. The Spirit can help us to know what we need to do to help others receive the gospel.

I believe I need to find more ways to share the gospel with others. But I can't do it in the world's way, I have to do it in the Lord's way. I think Ammon is a great example of how to prepare others to hear the gospel. He started with love and acceptance, then used the gospel to overcome challenges and to help others. He then proved his own character by both remembering and executing the king's commands, he then let the king ask questions and he didn't rush in and preach his ears off once he showed some interest. He also was ok to wait for a long time and listen closely to the king's questions and concerns.

I've always loved this paragraph under "Listen" from chapter 10 of Preach My Gospel:  
"While others talk to you, avoid the tendency to think about what you are going to say. Make sure you are really concentrating on the person speaking rather than planning your response. Elder Jeffrey R. Holland taught: “More important than speaking is listening. These people are not lifeless objects disguised as a baptismal statistic. They are children of God, our brothers and sisters, and they need what we have. Be genuine. Reach out sincerely. Ask these friends what matters most to them. What do they cherish, and what do they hold dear? And then listen. If the setting is right, you might ask what their fears are, what they yearn for, or what they feel is missing in their lives. I promise you that something in what they say will always highlight a truth of the gospel about which you can bear testimony and about which you can then offer more. … If we listen with love, we won’t need to wonder what to say. It will be given to us--by the Spirit and by our friends” (“Witnesses unto Me,” Ensign, May 2001, 15; italics in original).

Teaching moment: Set an example of being a good listener by fighting the tendency to interrupt people, cut them off, or finish their sentences for them. Ask genuine questions rather than trying to make comments or share your own similar experiences. Get comfortable waiting quietly and attentively for others to finish their thoughts or share additional thoughts. In an appropriate moment, teach the importance of this skill to a child. Help them practice asking questions that invite others to talk rather than talking about themselves. 

Monday, February 8, 2016

Thou Shalt Not Hurry

I have often wondered why Alma said he sinned in his wish to be an angel who could cry repentance with a loud voice. It seemed to me like to desire to be an angel was a righteous desire, not a sin. As I have continued to study, I have had the realization that even a righteous desire can become a sin if it robs us of our gratitude and blinds us to the blessings we have received. 

I think that true contentment is for mind, heart and body to all be in the same place at the same time. D&C 93:33-34 says that the body and spirit inseparably connected can receive a fulness of joy. D&C 138:50 says that disembodied spirits looked at their separation from their bodies as bondage. I believe that true happiness is to be fully present. If my body is here but my heart is somewhere else or somewhen else, I am dissatisfied, or in bondage.

Alma recognized that he ought to be content with what The Lord had given him to do at that time. 

I think this can be really frustrating because, while mind and heart can travel to past and future, the body is stuck in the moment. So we spent so much energy trying (in vain) to speed up time so that our bodies can be where our hearts are. We speed when we drive, we walk extra fast, we take shortcuts. All without realizing that rapidly changing location does not in fact change time at all, time passes at the same rate, and if my heart is set on some future event, no amount of hurrying from place to place can get me to where I desire. The most ironic thing of all is how often we finally reach that place in time only to realize that our heart is now behind us and we long to be where we already were.

We can easily get caught with our hearts and minds in the future or the past. This is bondage. We never actually are where (or when) our hearts want to be. 

I think that is what Alma recognized. If my heart is on being somewhere or something else, I am neglecting the gift I actually have before me. 

I have recently tried an experiment to remind myself to stay in the moment. I have tried to always go just under the speed limit. It has been amazing to me how tempted I have been to speed up, either thinking it will "save time" or fearing that those around me will be angry. It has been helpful because each time I am tempted to speed up, I am reminded of why I'm not. I will probably spend about 1,000 times more time traveling to my destination as I will actually spend arriving at my destination. If this is the case, I must learn to make traveling its own destination. Journeying should not be the chore between life's moments, it should be it's own special type of moment. It has been an interesting experiment and I'm thinking of adopting it permanently. It may be my little way of reminding myself the futility of fighting against time.

If I want to be happy, I must learn to be content with my current situation. True happiness comes when I am fully present. My mind, heart and body are in the same place at the same time.

Teaching moment: while watching a movie, reading a book (or a scripture story), eating dinner, riding in the car or sitting in the family room, try to identify 5 or 10 (or 50) things you had not noticed before. Discuss how slowing down allows us to see and experience things that we miss when we are in a hurry. Discuss the dangers of trying to rush through things that are important.

Possible Concepts to teach: gratitude, joy, love, peace, Spirit, contentment, calm, agency, happiness, worship

Possible scriptures:
Alma 29:1-4
D&C 59:14-21
D&C 88:15
D&C 93:33-34
D&C 128:50
2 Nephi 2:25
Matthew 25:14-29