What the Scriptures Teach About Love

There is a connection between my obedience to commandments and my ability to love. 

King Benjamin taught his people to obey the commandments "that they might rejoice and be filled with love towards God and all men" (Mosiah 2:4). Alma counseled Shiblon to bridle all his passions "that ye may be filled with love" (Alma 38:12). Paul taught that "the end of the commandment is charity" (1 Timothy 1:5). As we control our carnal desires and obey the commandments of God, our capacity to love is enhanced. The more I obey, the more I am capable of true love. For this reason, any effort in the world to promote love that is in opposition to God's commandments will not increase love, but destroy it.

Why does obedience bring love?

Paul taught that love is one of the fruits of the Spirit. This means that true love is not something I conjure, create, or stumble upon, it is a divine gift that is given by the Holy Ghost. True love goes beyond psychology, sociology or biology. It is spiritual in nature. 

Understanding this helps us see the connection between love and law. If love is a gift given by the Spirit, then that which invites the Spirit more abundantly will also increase my capacity to feel and show true love. On the other hand, Elder Neal A. Maxwell taught that sin "evicts the Holy Ghost from our soul. We lose the great value of His companionship, because He cannot abide in a sinful soul. And without His help, we then become less useful, less perceptive, less functional, and less loving human beings" (Reasons to Stay Pure, March 2003).

C. S. Lewis compared human souls to machines. He explained that commandments, or moral rules, are  "directions for running the human machine. Every moral rule is there to prevent a breakdown, or a strain, or a friction in the running of that machine" (Mere Christianity, 1978 ed. p. 69). Not only does disobedience evict the Holy Ghost from the soul, but it also damages the soul itself. 

When I was a teenager, I remember seeing a Mormonad with a picture of a young man sitting at a piano wearing boxing gloves. The caption at the bottom read "Living with unresolved sin is like playing the piano with boxing gloves—because sin blunts our ability to feel. Let’s free up our lives and then play our part with style" (January 1986). Elder Maxwell said that "When we lose our capacity to feel, it is because we have destroyed the taste buds of the soul" (Reasons to Stay Pure, March 2003). 

Sometimes we are tempted to think that we must choose between love and keeping the commandments. The world often argues that commandments get in the way of love. It also argues that if I don't accept a dangerous behavior as acceptable, I am being hateful. It's frustrating to see a culture so obsessed with the idea of love that they completely disregard and reject the conditions that lead to love. As Elder Maxwell observed "To [commit sin], in the name of love, is to destroy something precious in order to celebrate its existence wrongly" (Reasons to Stay Pure, March 2003). This attitude about sin and obedience probably flows from a misunderstanding of the purpose of obedience. President Dieter F. Uchtdorf suggested that we might need to change our perspective about obedience.

"But perhaps there is a different metaphor that can explain why we obey the commandments of God. Maybe obedience is not so much the process of bending, twisting, and pounding our souls into something we are not. Instead, it is the process by which we discover what we truly are made of.

"We are created by the Almighty God. He is our Heavenly Father. We are literally His spirit children. We are made of supernal material most precious and highly refined, and thus we carry within ourselves the substance of divinity.

"Here on earth, however, our thoughts and actions become encumbered with that which is corrupt, unholy, and impure. The dust and filth of the world stain our souls, making it difficult to recognize and remember our birthright and purpose.

"But all this cannot change who we truly are. The fundamental divinity of our nature remains. And the moment we choose to incline our hearts to our beloved Savior and set foot upon the path of discipleship, something miraculous happens. The love of God fills our hearts, the light of truth fills our minds, we start to lose the desire to sin, and we do not want to walk any longer in darkness.

"We come to see obedience not as a punishment but as a liberating path to our divine destiny. And gradually, the corruption, dust, and limitations of this earth begin to fall away. Eventually, the priceless, eternal spirit of the heavenly being within us is revealed, and a radiance of goodness becomes our nature" (He Will Place You on His Shoulders and Carry You Home, April 2016).

To see obedience in this way, we must have faith in God. We must do as King Benjamin counseled, which is to "Believe in God; believe that he is, and that he created all things, both in heaven and in earth; believe that he has all wisdom, and all power, both in heaven and in earth; believe that man doth not comprehend all the things which the Lord can comprehend" (Mosiah 4:9). We must understand what the Lord meant when He said "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts" (Isaiah 55:8-9).

When we don't believe or obey the commandments because we don't understand them, or because we think we have a better idea, it is often because we lack faith in Him- which is probably why faith in Jesus Christ is the first principle of the gospel. We sometimes assume that we actually know better how to care for the "human machine" than the one who created it. Infinite commandments don't always seem to make sense to finite minds. God is love, His commandments prepare us to love as He does, without the selfish and proud motives of worldly love.

In a talk about cultivating divine marital intimacy, Sister Nelson highlighted the importance of righteousness and purity for true love.

"Personal purity is the key to true love. The more pure your thoughts and feelings, your words and actions, the greater your capacity to give and receive true love" (Love and Marriage, January 2017).

Not only is the marital relationship enhanced by purity and obedience, but righteousness allows a depth of feeling and love in all our relationships that cannot be experienced by a sin-calloused spirit.

The two great commandments are "Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind...And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself" (Matthew 22:37-39). As I draw closer to God, I become a more refined and loving person. Love of my neighbor grows from my love for God. I want to strive to draw closer to God so that I can also be a better husband, friend, brother and neighbor.

In my efforts to be a more loving person, I believe my greatest strategy would be to search my life for the areas in which I am either evicting the Spirit from my life or the areas where I am failing to invite Him as fully as I could.

Blessings Help, Gratitude Heals

Yesterday I read a talk by Elder Nelson titled "Thanks be to God." He began with a story and an observation that struck me.

"Recently, Sister Nelson and I enjoyed the beauty of tropical fish in a small private aquarium. Fish with vivid colors and of a variety of shapes and sizes darted back and forth. I asked the attendant nearby, 'Who provides food for these beautiful fish?'

"She responded, “I do.”

"Then I asked, 'Have they ever thanked you?'

She replied, 'Not yet!'

I thought of some people I know who are just as oblivious to their Creator and their true 'bread of life.' They live from day to day without an awareness of God and His goodness unto them. How much better it would be if all could be more aware of God’s providence and love and express that gratitude to Him...Our degree of gratitude is a measure of our love for Him."

The story of the fish tank and Elder Nelson's observation really impacted me. For most of my life I have been the fish in the tank that never even thinks to look up and see where my blessings are coming from. In fact, most the time I don't even stop to think about the fact that they are blessings.

Sometimes we become confused with thinking that because we've always had something, we have a right to it. To the fish, food wasn't a gift, it was an expectation. With this attitude we become entitled. I have spent most of my life asking God to give me what I don't have. I have rarely had the maturity or humility to really thank Him for what I already do have.

I looked this talk up yesterday after reading the story of the ten lepers. In that story, ten lepers plead with Jesus to heal them. He sends them to the priest to be pronounced clean. As they went, they were cleansed. Only one of those ten turned back to glorify God and thank the Savior. He recognized the great blessing he had been given.

The Savior told this man to go his way, "thy faith hath made thee whole." I thought about the difference between being "cleansed" and being "made whole." All ten were cleansed, only one was made whole.

As I pondered this, I realized why. How long would those 9 be satisfied with their lives? How long before they forgot the great blessing they had been given and again became dissatisfied? Would their rejoicing last? If they did not learn how to turn back and recognize God's hand in their lives, their joy would likely be temporary and short lived.

I believe that blessings help us but gratitude heals us. Receiving a gift makes us happy for a moment, gratitude for our gifts will make us happy forever. Without gratitude, no amount of blessings will be enough. With it, everything is enough.

I'm grateful for this story from the Bible. I'm grateful for the powerful message it teaches. I believe that getting what we want will make us happy for a moment, wanting what we have will make us happy forever.

"But Ver is Yo Powah?"

Several years ago, my wife, Tiah, got mono, and it completely drained her of her energy and strength. She was in a continual state of fatigue and lacked the strength for even the simplest tasks. Getting out of bed, eating, talking, working and even thinking were exhausting. After a few weeks, her strength began to return and eventually things went back to normal. I have also experienced illnesses that have made me weak. The very simplest tasks suddenly become very taxing and some become impossible. I remember during one illness passing out in the hallway as I was walking to the other room. I was amazed that I could be made so weak by such a small illness. These experiences have taught me a few lessons and came to mind as I studied today.

1) we usually don't appreciate the strength we live by until it is taken from us. I usually assume that I am in control of my strength and live by my own power-until it's gone.

2) often we don't realize that our strength is gone until we try to call upon it in a time of need. In other words, I didn't realize how weak I was while laying in bed, it was when I needed to walk that I learned the extent of my weakness.

Today I read a story where the prophet Nephi taught a people that had experienced a time of great economic and social success. Life was great for them. And because life was great, they did not need help. They became very wicked and rejected and ignored God. Nephi gave them a warning that really stood out to me. "The Lord will not grant unto you strength, as he has hitherto done, to withstand against your enemies."

In other words, "although life seems good right now, someday you will face challenges, enemies. When that time comes, you will find that you have no strength because you haven't fought these spiritual diseases. You have allowed yourselves to become vulnerable and weak." Of course at this time the people didn't believe him because they didn't know they were weak. Life was very easy for them and they didn't seem to lack anything they needed. They didn't need strength to lay in bed all day. But soon great challenges would come to them and they would find that walking in a storm requires much more strength than laying on a bed. The strength they thought they had would be completely insufficient.

President Packer told the story of a young man who learned that he did not have power when he needed it. 

"Years ago a family gathered at the bedside of an aged little Danish woman. Among them was her middle-aged, wayward son. For the past number of years he had been living at home.

Tearfully he pleaded, “Mama, you’ve got to live. Mama, you can’t die.” He said, “Mama, you can’t go. I won’t let you go.”

The little mother looked up at her son and in her broken Danish accent said, “But ver is yo powah?”--where is your power?"

(The Power of the Priesthood April 2010)

Jesus's disciples once felt that. Although they had done many mighty miracles and cast out devils in His name before, they encountered a boy with an affliction they could not heal. They could not cast the devil out of him. Jesus then came and cast the devil out. I can picture the disciples asking the same question as the little old mother "but where was our power?" Jesus told them that this particular affliction required greater strength. This kind goeth not out but by prayer and fasting. Even the power to heal and perform many miracles had not been enough to prepare them for this greater challenge. We must never stop developing spiritual strength. 

(Matthew 17:14-21)

I have felt that too. When Tiah had mono, she asked me to give her a blessing. In that moment I realized that I had not been working very hard to develop my spiritual strength and I did not feel I had much power with which to bless her. That realization scared me. I never wanted to be left without sufficient power again. 

I learned that the spiritual strength I need to stand during a pleasant weather system in life is not enough when the storm rolls in. If I do not prepare in advance, I may find myself unable to stand. I must remind myself that the smartest builders build structures that will withstand the worst weather, not just the current weather. That is because life, like weather, changes. And if we build only to suit current conditions, we won't be ready for the storms.

Is this a Prompting or am I just Paranoid?

One of the most common questions that is asked about the Spirit is how we can tell whether or not a prompting is coming from the Spirit or whether it is simply the product of my own thoughts. The most common answer that is given is that if a thought leads you to do good, follow it. If you feel a prompting to take a treat to a neighbor, whether it comes from the Spirit or oneself is irrelevant because every good thing (or thought) originates from Christ anyway. This answer is simple and true, it seems to remove all questions regarding recognizing the Spirit. However, the question continues to be asked, how can I tell? This is because not all promptings are obviously good or bad. The prompting to visit a widow or help someone with a car problem can be easily attributed to the Spirit, but what about the prompting to go to the grocery store at 2:00 AM? What if you feel like you should return home early from a trip or avoid a trip altogether? What about the promptings to back out of a home purchase before signing the contract or to move to a new city? These kinds of promptings can have major consequences that range from inconvenient to disasterous, yet they are not so easy to judge as good or bad. Going to the store at 2:00 AM isn't inherently good or bad, it's morally neutral. I believe these are the promptings that confuse us and prompt the questions about recognizing the Spirit.

The truth is that voice matters more than message. There is no real pattern (other than the one already mentioned) that you can apply to the prompting to know whether it comes from God. You won't always be able to know by the message, sometimes the only way to know is by the voice that gives it. We must become so familiar with the Lord that we recognize His voice clearly and distinctly from all other voices. This is a process that takes a lot of time and effort.

It reminds me of the story told by Elder Allan F. Packer:

“When I was a young man in high school, one of my passions was American football. I played middle linebacker. The coach worked the team hard, teaching us the basics. We practiced until the skills became natural and automatic. During one play against our biggest rival, I had an experience that has helped me over the years. We were on defense. I knew my assigned opponent, and as the play unfolded, he moved to my right into the line of scrimmage. There was a lot of noise from players and fans. I reacted as the coach had taught us and followed my man into the line, not knowing if he had the ball. To my surprise, I felt the ball partially in my hands. I gave it a tug, but my opponent didn’t let go. As we tugged back and forth, amid all the noise I heard a voice yelling, ‘Packer, tackle him!’ That was enough to bring me to my senses, so I dropped him on the spot.

“I have wondered how I heard that voice above all the other noise. I had become acquainted with the voice of the coach during the practices, and I had learned to trust it. I knew that what he taught worked.

“We need to be acquainted with the promptings of the Holy Ghost, and we need to practice and apply gospel teachings until they become natural and automatic. These promptings become the foundation of our testimonies” (“Finding Strength in Challenging Times!” Ensign or Liahona, May 2009, 17).

In Elder Packer's story, the right action wasn't discernible by an analysis of the many messages being shouted but because he recognized the voice of his coach. 

I think that the question "how do I know whether a prompting comes from God or not?" is fundamentally flawed because it focuses on the prompting itself rather than the voice which is the only true way to know. Perhaps it would be more useful to ask, "how can I better recognize the Lord's voice when He speaks to me?"

Answers to this question come much more readily and in abundance, I have a few thoughts in response. 

1. Failing doesn't make me a failure

Remembering that the Savior's Atonement means that there is no mistake I can make that He can't fix gives me the freedom to fail without being a failure. "Stand fast in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free." How do we honor the freedom Christ purchased with His sacrifice? I think we stand fast in freedom when we replace the fear of ruining things with the faith of trying things. For example, while the prompting to share the gospel or my testimony is obviously good, I have at times wondered whether what I say or how I say it will offend someone and therefore cause negative results. When I understand that Christ can fix any unforeseen consequences, I am free to try to do what's right without having to fear permanent damage. In other words, Christ purchased the freedom to try. To stand fast in that freedom means to not attempt to seek answers by thinking that ought to be obtained by doing. Faith means action and there is no shortcut to recognizing God's voice. It cannot be done by study alone, but also by faith, or action. This means that in the situation I mentioned, I share my testimony and trust that if I fail, God can fix the problems and I can learn a better way to try it next time.

2. Move your feet and keep your ears open.

We must learn to keep walking and continue to listen. Sometimes the answers to our questions are not visible from our current position. We may keep praying for the Lord to tell us which way to go when if we would only take two steps in any direction we would realize that we were standing directly behind a tree and the way to go would become obvious. Sometimes the answer is movement, or a change of position. Too often we fall victim to paralysis by analysis. We can debate all day about what could or couldn't be behind the tree or we could take two steps and know for sure. There is no substitute for work and motion.

“What do you do when you have prepared carefully, have prayed fervently, waited a reasonable time for a response, and still do not feel an answer? You may want to express thanks when that occurs, for it is an evidence of [Heavenly Father’s] trust. When you are living worthily and your choice is consistent with the Savior’s teachings and you need to act, proceed with trust. As you are sensitive to the promptings of the Spirit, one of two things will certainly occur at the appropriate time: either the stupor of thought will come, indicating an improper choice, or the peace or the burning in the bosom will be felt, confirming that your choice was correct. When you are living righteously and are acting with trust, God will not let you proceed too far without a warning impression if you have made the wrong decision.”

Elder Richard G. Scott of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, “Using the Supernal Gift of Prayer,” Ensign, May 2007, 10.

3. There is no substitute for time on the lake.

When my dad first took me fishing he taught me that I would know when I had a bite because the tip of my pole would pull down or shake. I would watch and wait and when it would move I would yank the pole and start reeling like crazy. Most the time I found no fish on my hook. I soon learned that a pull on the rod could be actually be caused by many things, including waves, snags or a brother kicking the pole from behind. While I have not become as much of a master fisherman as I would like to be, I have learned that there is no substitute for time on the lake. Others can describe to me exactly how the pole will react or how I should respond, but in reality I will not learn to be a great fisherman until I get the feel for fishing. 

A few weeks ago I fished with my brother who fishes almost on a daily basis. I caught two fish. Both times I was not even sure I had caught anything until I had reeled the fish for a while. As it grew darker I strained to watch the line to see when it grew tight. I stooped close to the water to try to see my line in the sunlight. As he stood upright and reeled like a normal person I asked him how he could see his line. He told me he doesn't really look at the line, he just feels the fish when they bite. While I struggled to fish in the dark he went right on fishing as usual. I realized that while he could describe to me what I would see and feel when I had a fish on, the only real way to know was to spend time in the water learning to feel the difference. I would probably reel a lot of bites with no fish and probably catch a few fish I didn't know were biting, but in the process I would learn to recognize the difference. I believe the same is true of the Spirit. We can ask what it feels like and others can describe it, which helps, but the only real way to know is to "spend time on the lake." 

Teaching moment: take your child fishing. Explain to them that fishing takes time and practice. Encourage them to set the hook and reel if they feel they think they might have a bite and that they will soon come to recognize the difference. Discuss parallels to promptings of the Spirit.

Have a child stand behind a large obstacle. Ask them if they know what is behind it. Invite them to guess. Have them step to the side and look behind the object. Explain that while we should ask for help, sometimes the true answer will only come after we move in faith and that often the direction of the movement doesn't matter as much as the fact that you're moving. Dicscuss how faith is a willingness to act or move.

Possible scriptures:

Mosiah 5:14

1 Samuel 3:1-10

Alma 5:37-38

1 Kings 19:11-13 

Galatians 5:1

Will I Be Happy When I Die?

The other day I was reading about how the wicked who die will enter a state of misery and sorrow in the next life. I have also read many scriptures that teach that the spirit which possesses us when we die will be the same spirit and that those who are happy will be happy still and those who are miserable will be miserable still. I've wondered how it's possible that both of these teachings could be true. How can we continue in whatever state we are in and yet the wicked be miserable and the righteous happy. In many cases it seems that the wicked are quite content with their lives, even happy. What happens when they die? Do they enter a state of misery or do they continue in the state of contentment and happiness they experience here?

I think the answer lies in our understanding of what happiness means. Happiness is the health of the spirit. What we usually refer to as happiness is not actually happiness. What we often describe instead are the symptoms of happiness, how my mortal body feels.

Just as I might say I am healthy because I see no signs of poor health, I might say I'm happy because I don't feel any of the symptoms of unhappiness. In both cases I may be right or wrong, what I am calling health or happiness is actually my best guess  at how happy I am based on my symptoms. I may have a serious medical condition that, if I were aware of it, would change my assessment of my health entirely.

The same is true of happiness. While I may feel no symptoms of unhappiness, I do not have a full knowledge of how happy I am right now. There is a delay in the signal from my Spirit to my mortal senses. Sometimes I do not realize that my spirit is unhappy until long after it has become unhappy. Alma said wickedness never was happiness. That means that as soon as I've sinned, I have become less happy. I do not always sense that immediately though because I have a body which delays that message. This delay is a great blessing. It allows us to correct our unhappiness before the full pain of the consequences takes effects. It also is the only way that we can learn to live by faith. The body is the main faith-building tool we have. Without it, I could immediately see that my spirit is happier when I obey and less happy when I disobey. This would mean that I make choices based on immediate consequences and never gain the ability to see using my eyes of faith. 

This is why I believe both statements about death are true. Those who are happy will be happy still, but those who are miserable shall be miserable still. The truth is that while wickedness may not always feel unhappy, wickedness never was happiness. The health of the Spirit is immediately influenced by the good and bad choices we make. 

The Lord prolonged our days so that the consequences of our choices would not follow immediately, thus we could learn to use our faith. We were given mortal bodies which delayed and veiled our full understanding of the condition of our spirits. 

So why will the wicked be miserable when they die? It is because they will no longer have a body to soften and veil the symptoms of their unhappiness. In essence, have a body allows us to numb ourselves to the condition of our spirits, like a painkiller. 

While painkillers can be a blessing so that we can fix injuries while alleviating pain, they can also be a challenge when they are used to shield ourselves from the truth about our health. In the same way, the body can be used to numb the pain of sin, which can be a blessing as we seek to repent, but we can often abuse the body's numbing power to shield us from an awareness of our own spiritual health. 

There are all kinds of ways to distract oneself from the pain of sin. Most of them involve turning up the volume in some form. Music, laughter, activity, video games, distraction, anger, aggression, pride, pleasure, lust, hunger, drugs. Many who are unhealthy in spirit will increase the volume in areas like these so that they don't have to hear the whisper of the Spirit, telling the truth about their condition.

When the wicked die, they lose access to their painkiller (the body). They can no longer numb themselves or hide the condition of their spirit because spirit is all they are. The full effect of their wicked and unhealthy lifestyle is now immediately brought upon them. It's not that the Lord imposes some form of outside punishment on them, but that they are punished by their own choices. 

Those who have taken the time to address their spiritual health and care for themselves continue to enjoy the happiness they had developed in life. Losing their body (painkillers) does not bother them because they maximized their time in life by healing the conditions rather than numbing the symptoms. 

Teaching moment: teach a child the difference between medicine that heals the problem and medicine that numbs the pain. Explain that without healing the problem, numbing will only work temporarily and can actually lead to greater pain. The dentist might be an easy example to use because the numbness very noticeable and most people have experienced it.

Scriptures:

2 Nephi 2:21

Alma 34:31-35

Alma 40:11-14

Alma 41:10

2 Nephi 9:13-16

Mormon 9:3-4, 13-14

1 Nephi 17:45-46

Ephesians 4:17-19

Mormon 2:13-14

President Henry B. Eyring

"Every person born into the world receives the Light of Christ, which helps us see and feel what is right and what is wrong. God has sent mortal servants who can, by the Holy Ghost, help us recognize what He would have us do and what He forbids. God makes it attractive to choose the right by letting us feel the effects of our choices. If we choose the right, we will find happiness—in time. If we choose evil, there comes sorrow and regret—in time. Those effects are sure. Yet they are often delayed for a purpose. If the blessings were immediate, choosing the right would not build faith. And since sorrow is also sometimes greatly delayed, it takes faith to feel the need to seek forgiveness for sin early rather than after we feel its sorrowful and painful effects." (A Priceless Heritage of Hope)

Why Amulek Could do what Alma Couldn't

I have wondered why this sermon had this particular effect on the people and especially on Zeezrom. It seemed like a pretty awesome talk on the Atonement and the judgment. I'm sure the truths of the judgment and remembering our guilt were impactful but I'd think Alma would already have taught them that they would be judged by their works. I think the effect of this sermon is a result of multiple factors. I think there are at least three reasons why this sermon astonished them and made them tremble. 1) what was said 2) who said it and 3) how he said it.

Like I mentioned, I could see how this content would be meaningful in this situation since the people are wicked and Amulek speaks of the judgment and the Atonement. But also like I mentioned, I don't think this information was new or that it hadn't already been taught or told to them by Alma. 

I think that part of the powerful effect of this sermon was due to who gave it. Amulek was one of the people of the city. He was not a stranger or a foreigner. He was not a general authority of the church. He was a local business man. He knew the ways of Ammonihah and was a part of that culture. I believe that part of the power in his message came from the fact that he was just some guy who people knew that was now speaking with power and conviction. The people had known Amulek before Alma showed up and this new Amulek was different. He was powerful, knowledgeable and courageous.

The biggest part of his power came from the way he delivered his sermon. This story has mentioned over and over again that Alma an Amulek taught only that which the Spirit directed them to teach. Amulek's message was exactly what The Lord wanted to be said. He was speaking by the spirit and so he spoke in the name of Christ and the people could feel it. This, combined with the fact that Amulek was a local businessman astonished the people. They could not believe that they were being taught with such power by one with so little formal spiritual training and gospel knowledge. It is interesting that Amulek took on Zeezrom first. Alma didn't jump in and say "hey I'm the prophet, I've got a bit more experience, maybe I should take this guy on and you can do some street preaching later or something."

Alma didn't jump in and help, he let The Lord show the people that their strongest most learned man couldn't outsmart the weakest and commonest man when he had the spirit of God with him.

This is what I think astonished the people, a weak and common man speaking by the Spirit could not be tricked, bribed or deceived by their greatest and most knowledgeable and talented lawyer. Something impossible had happened before their eyes and they could not deny it. They had no choice but to reevaluate their beliefs about the world because it was so obvious that what they believed was absolutely incompatible with reality. What had just happened was incompatible with "what they knew", but because they couldn't deny that it had happened, they had no choice but to question "what they knew."

Alma could not teach these people before because the fact that they didn't know him and that he was the leader of the church (a fact which they reminded him of and used as a source of anger towards him earlier) made it easy for them to dismiss his testimony and ignore his spirit. 

When Amulek joined the cause, he made it impossible for them to deny. His conversion was indisputable. Amulek, a common man, a local, and one who had previously been uncommitted to the cause of the gospel had now become the gamechanger. He did something Alma could not do, not because Alma wasn't good enough, but ironically because he wasn't weak enough. Amulek's weakness is exactly what showed the people God's strength. Because his weakness was a stark contrast with the power of his words, the people were astonished.

I believe there are things that can only be done by the Lord's weakest servants. His greatest, strongest, most refined and learned servants sometimes cannot do what a weak, young, inexperienced yet converted servant can do. For no fault of the servant himself, the experience and wisdom of the refined servant can make it easy for people to dismiss his words because wisdom and experience are too closely tied to the way men view strength from a mortal perspective. It is too similar too the way the worldly persuade. God's way of persuading is much different than the worlds, He needs fools and weaklings so that the world cannot so easily deny the miracles done in His name. 

Fools and children like Moses, Samuel, Daniel, Joseph Smith, Enoch and Amulek. People who the world calls weak. That is the Lord's way. Weakness is His strength.

I saw this recently in stake conference. Over two days I heard many talks from powerful leaders in our stake. They gave inspiring and wonderful messages. The one that moved me most though was given by a humble, ordinary looking member of our stake. He had no calling of importance that I know of, he had no special training or mode of speaking. His entire talk was really more of a testimony. He spoke of how how after hearing a talk by our stake president, he felt inspired to transform his casual approach to scripture study into a passionate quest. He spoke of the way he had changed. He had created a study room and a study process that he used to feast on the word of God. His testimony was powerful but it was humble. It was direct and to the point and it was honest. It was not eloquent, just true. I particularly remember him taking about how he had been an avid fly fisherman before and since the change in his study he said that this hobby had pretty much disappeared. He lost interest in it, he didn't need it anymore. For some reason this was one of the most interesting parts of his talk. I think when he talked about fly fishing, I may have felt about him similar as some people felt about Amulek. I thought "this is such an ordinary guy." This gave his testimony the power I felt. 

While I loved all the messages at conference, it was this modern day Amulek who touched me deepest.

I had not considered, but now I can see, that my weakness is my greatest strength. It is what allows the Lord to show His strength. As Paul said, "when I am weak, then I am strong."

The Learning Pattern of Acting

Learning by study and also by faith. Real learning is an act of both the body and the mind. In fact, while we mostly associate knowledge with the mind, it is usually best produced by the use of our bodies. The use of the body shapes the mind and prepares it to receive and retain light and knowledge. Preparation and application are the keys to gaining light and truth.

I have been pondering how important it is to identify specific actions that I can do in order to act on what I know. I have realized that so much of the power of my scripture study is lost when I fail to convert it into action that changes me. For example, I might say after studying my scriptures that I will be more kind. While I might say I have set a goal to act, all I have done is made a wish about how to react because I'm too lazy to or don't know how to make a commitment to act. If the goal is to bind ourselves to act, then I must have something real to bind myself to. How do I bind myself to act "more kindly?" There is nothing concrete to anchor my commitment to, it is a wish about how I will react. So how do I turn a wishful reaction into a concrete action? I must seek inspiration to specify my goal. For example, to whom will I be more kind? When? And how? What will I do? If I can answer these questions then I am much closer to a true action. 

I have found that the Lord has provided a perfect learning laboratory in which I can constantly practice my gospel actions. It is called the family. This is the ideal place to apply gospel principles. Almost always when I ask the questions "to whom will I be kinder?" "When will I be kinder to them?" And "what will I do to show more kindness?" The first answer that comes to mind relates to my family. For me, usually my wife. 

I think this pattern of acting to become what I am learning is really essential to my growth. For example tonight I attended a fireside in which President Brown spoke about family history. I left feeling that I should do better at family history. But I did not set a goal. I simply said, I will do better. When will I do better? How will I do better? What specifically could I do to be better? I realized that I rarely set real goals based on what I've learned. Most of my goals are actually wishes. I am not binding myself to act in holiness, I am wishing I was better at reacting in all holiness. I think that this approach requires that I recognize two objectives that lead to change. Knowing which one I am struggling with will show me what path to take towards improvement. 

The first objective is the formation of a habit. For many of my problem habits and behaviors, the solution is to develop a counter-habit. Good habits are an effort to tame the natural man, to reign him in. This is the value of a check yes or no approach to obedience. It provides a natural man incentive to defeat the natural man. The other objective is to make our habits holy, or to translate them to a higher plane. At this point I am not as focused on reigning in the natural man as I am on developing the strength of the spiritual man. This is where I move beyond the yes or no box into the realm of good better best. 

I must evaluate whether my struggle is one with bridling the natural man or of strengthening the Spiritual man. Obviously these two objectives are intertwined and affect each other. They are not separate, but by noticing the nature of my goal I can prescribe the appropriate remedy. For example, my goal is to be better at doing family history. Right now I believe my greatest resistance to that goal is in my natural tendency to procrastinate and be lazy. I tend to be lazy in the mental effort it takes to prioritize my time and to be lazy in the effort it takes to actually do the work. I believe I have a testimony of family history and temple work but it has reached it's highest potential growth based on the action I have put into it. My next course of action is to bridle the natural man. So I will set a specific goal to at least log in to my family search account once a day. This one small action may seem insignificant, but to be honest, it is much more than I am doing currently. And ironically the reason I am doing so little now is that I feel there is far too much to do! When I have mastered my natural man to the point that logging on once a day is not difficult at all, I may choose to increase the level of effort to looking up an ancestor at least 5 generations back. That's all! 

I might see a goal like this and think it is useless because it accomplished nothing. But to be honest, while my goal is the taming of my natural man, I will be doing more than many are doing and infinity times more than I was doing before. Following this pattern I continue to bridle the natural man. In the mean time, I am attending my meetings, studying my scriptures, saying my prayers and strengthening my spiritual man. So I am working in both directions although my focus at this point is on the habit. 

As another example, I am currently in the habit of praying, reading, and writing in my journal every day. Those actions are second nature now and require little thought and usually much less willpower to at least do. So my goal with these is not as much to develop a habit as it is to strengthen the Spirit and improve the habit. This will lead to different goals and more experimentation with better methods. For example, because I do not need to worry about whether or not I will be saying my morning prayers today, I can set goals and try methods to improve them. Like pondering what questions I could ask the Lord to make my prayers more effective. Or how might kneeling upright, or speaking aloud or praying in a different location change my experience? What could I do to get myself into the proper mindset and the right attitude to have a meaningful conversation with God? What could I study in the scriptures to strengthen my understanding of how prayer works? These are all avenues I can explore to improve my prayers, which are now habitually ingrained. If I fall out of a habit, I start back at the place were I need to to redevelop it.

It is important to remember that we do not need to run faster than we have strength because this is one of the most tempting things for us to do and one of the most common reasons we fail to change.

When I first started running, I found a lot of excitement in seeing my fitness progress. Too soon I started focusing on beating my run times and running started to become something I dreaded. I stopped feeling a desire to go because I was too worried about beating my time. When I realized this I decided that instead of focusing on how fast I ran, I would just focus on enjoying developing the habit. I would work first on subduing the natural man until running itself was no longer daunting. I stopped timing each mile and focused instead on pushing myself at a slightly uncomfortable pace for a certain period of time. It wasn't about minutes per mile anymore it was just about minutes. Once I made this commitment, running became fun again and I started to feel less dread about going. My focus had changed because I realized that my natural man needed to be subdued before he could be chiseled.

Possible scriptures:

John 7:17

Ether 12:6, 12, 18

D&C 43:8-9

Memories that Move Us

As Alma preaches to a falling people, he first reminds them of the captivity and struggles of their fathers. I find his questions interesting. "Have you sufficiently retained in remembrance?" Why did he ask that question instead of "do you remember?" How much remembrance must we retain in order for it to be sufficient? I think sufficient remembrance is enough to change your behavior. You have sufficient memory when memory moves you. 

In the way Alma is teaching it, memory is not something you have, it is a faith filled action. It is something you work to develop. I don't simply remember things, I seek to remember and I choose what to remember. My mind and my memory are shaped by the choices I make. 

This again comes back to agency. Memory is not thrust on us, especially a memory of righteous things. We work to create that memory and expand it. We shape it. We plant and nourish and reap the garden of the heart.

So is memory based in the mind or in the heart? I'm guessing both. The facts are stored in the mind but the emotional connection is stored in the heart. So in order to have a memory that changes me, I need to choose to take an experience from the realm of facts to the realm of feelings. The Spirit can do this for me. It can create an emotional charge to my memories that leaves an impression on my heart so that a memory now has emotive power. I read today that the word emotion means to move to action. It is emotion that moves us, not fact.

This also makes me think that sufficient isn't actually in reference to an amount of remembering but of a type, location and depth of memory. A memory that is sufficient to change me is one that is charged with feeling. It is emotive, meaning it moves me or puts me in motion. This means that a memory has sunk deeper into my soul than the thinking brain. It has sunk down into the heart. At this point gospel knowledge becomes gospel fuel that motivates-it is emotive. 

While Enos hunted in the woods he said that the words which he had often heard his father speak sank deep into his heart. I like the idea of his memories "sinking in" because there is not really a better way to describe the process of a thought or word slowly moving from the mind to the heart. This is the movement from knowledge to understanding. Every memory has two parts then, the facts and the feelings.

For Enos, the gospel which he had always known was sinking to a different location. This leads to my other thought about how to get a thought or memory from knowledge to feeling. I think it's another way to interpret Alma's question "have you sufficiently retained in remembrance?" I picture a chamber in the thinking brain labeled memory. I also picture that it has a sandy base into which thoughts can slowly sink. Whatever thought or memory is in this chamber represents what I am currently thinking about. When Alma says to retain certain events in remembrance sufficiently, I picture this thought or memory being allowed to remain in the chamber of thought long enough that it begins to sink. Distraction means I pull the thought back to the surface and momentarily replace it with another. When I return to the thought I must start afresh to let it sink in again. This is why distraction is so dangerous. It is also why pondering is one of the most powerful tools of learning. It is retaining a particular thought in remembrance with focused effort long enough to allow a thought to sink.

This describes well the experience of Joseph Smith. 

"Never did any passage of scripture come with more power to the heart of man than this did at this time to mine. It seemed to enter with great force into every feeling of my heart. I reflected on it again and again, knowing that if any person needed wisdom from God, I did; for how to act I did not know, and unless I could get more wisdom than I then had, I would never know; for the teachers of religion of the different sects understood the same passages of scripture so differently as to destroy all confidence in settling the question by an appeal to the Bible.

At length I came to the conclusion that I must either remain in darkness and confusion, or else I must do as James directs, that is, ask of God. I at length came to the determination to “ask of God,” concluding that if he gave wisdom to them that lacked wisdom, and would give liberally, and not upbraid, I might venture."

It was only after lengthy reflection and continually retaining this thought in remembrance that Joseph came to the conclusion to act on it.

I think I need to work on not only remembering things, but retaining them in remembrance until things (factual) become fuel (emotive). I will need to develop greater self discipline to keep distractions from uprooting my sinking memory.

Teaching moment: While baking a meal or treat, point out that in order for the ingredients to become what they're supposed to be, they must be allowed time to be changed by steady and constant heat. Putting the pan in the oven for 2 minutes 30 times does not have the same effect as baking it for 60 minutes. Discuss how the mind is like an oven and the importance of pondering and retaining inspired words and thoughts in remembrance. Discuss how distraction is like switching pans in and out of the mind and can prevent us from growing or being changed.

Possible ideas to teach: scriptures, study, church, faith, the Holy Ghost, pondering, repentance, change, testimony, learning, memory, habits, goals, change

Possible Scripture References:

Enos 1:1-8

JSH 1:8-14

2 Nephi 4:15-16

Deuteronomy 4:9

D&C 138:1-11

D&C 76:15-20

1 Samuel 3:1-10

3 Nephi 11:1-7

In the Name of Christ or in the Name of Bryce?

When I close a prayer or talk in the name of Jesus Christ, I am affirming that what I have said has been said in His name, meaning it is aligned with His will. In other words I have said and done what He would have said and done. This puts more responsibility on me to learn how to both know and do His will.

The object of prayer is not to change the will of God, but to secure for ourselves blessings which God is ready to give, but which are dependent on our asking for them. The purpose of prayer is for the child to bring his will into alignment with the will of his Father. I believe this is true both of individual prayers and of a lifetime prayer relationship with God. My purpose is to engage in a process of speaking, listening, feeling and asking so that I can become more familiar with the voice of God and the workings of the Spirit. I think the real purpose of prayer is to learn to recognize His voice.

When the Nephites disciples prayed, we are told that they did not multiply many words because it was given them by the Spirit what to pray for. We also know that because angels speak by the Holy Ghost, they speak the words of Christ. So when we speak, or pray by the Spirit, we are speaking and praying the words of Christ. 

We are taught that when we ask the Father in the name of Christ, we will be given whatsoever we ask. We might mistakenly believe that this means we say the name of Jesus Christ as we speak. In reality it means that we speak and pray by inspiration and ask for that which the Lord desires to give us and at the time He desires to give it. 

When I ask the Father in the name of Christ, He will always answer me. This is because the mind of Christ is one with the mind of the Father, so Christ will only ask for that which it is His Father's will to bestow. So every prayer is answered. He did not need to speak many words because not a single word was wasted.

He did not use the shotgun prayer approach, asking for lots an lots of different things hoping He might get a few of them correct. He used the sharpshooter approach, He only asked that which it was His Father's will that He ask. He never attempted a miracle only to find out that it wasn't God's will to perform. Never a wasted bullet because He didn't pray for that which was not right with the Father's will. 

Christ was known for His ability to do so much with so few words. He was not known for lengthy and sparkling orations, but for simple, understandable and penetrating messages that change hearts. "He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her." Was the simplest response to a very complex and difficult situation. He did not multiply words.

When I become aligned with the will of Christ, everything I ask is granted. I receive the sealing power. Nephi had the sealing power because he never asked that which was not the will of God. He always prayed in the name of Christ. If this is the case, I too will have the sealing power when I learn to live and act in the name of Christ. Then everything I pray will be fulfilled because I will have learned to ask for what He is ready to give me. 

This requires that I come to know the voice of the Spirit so well that I can always speak in the Spirit. I don't think this means that we shouldn't ask for things we want or we should be scared to ask God because we might guess wrong. I think it means that we don't pray with the purpose of changing God's will, but of learning how to know it.

I have thought then, what about the times when I have prayed for what I desired and it was granted? This doesn't mean I changed the will of God, but that I had recognized an inspired desire. 

The explanation on the revelation of the priesthood points out that church leaders had been moved upon by an inspired desire to extend the priesthood to all worthy males. In other words, the Spirit prompted them to ask for it. 

When Alma and Amulek stood by the pit and watched the believers burn, Amulek sought to save them, Alma knew it was not in the Lord's will. He knew that, while Amulek's desire was borne of love, it was not in the name of Christ. 

I don't think it's wrong to pray for our desires, there is no other way to learn the difference between an inspired desire and  an uninspired one.

Once, after studying this topic, Tiah and I decided to try it. For fast Sunday, we decided to pray about what we should pray about. While we have struggled with the inability to have children and have often felt a desire to fast for children, we felt that this day we should fast for gratitude. To me it seemed like a waste of  a fast. If I was going to go 24 hours without food, I ought to be able to ask for something I wanted, like children. However, we decided to try it. Maybe there really was a difference between praying in the name of Christ and praying in the name of Bryce.

By the end of that day, we had had one of the most refreshing and fulfilling fasts I had ever experienced. The gift of gratitude had been given along with about 100 other subtle and powerful blessings. We almost laughed at ourselves near the end of the day when we realized that children, money, security and any other "blessing" would still leave us unhappy if we didn't have gratitude. With gratitude, happiness could be ours whatever our circumstance. We realized how foolish it would have been to continue asking for things to make us happy without first receiving the gift that is the heart and soul of happiness, gratitude. I believe The Lord made this particular answer very easy to recognize in order to reinforce to me the importance of praying in the name of Christ, not Bryce.

I have wondered how the desire to have children could ever be uninspired since families are the heart of God's plan. I have realized that prayer is not only about asking for the right thing, but also aligning our wills with the right time, the Lord's time. He doesn't set His watch to mine, I must learn to set my watch to His. That, or always wonder why my trials are arriving early and my blessings always late.

John the Baptist had a role to fulfill in preparing the people for the coming of the Savior. Several of Christ's apostles were chosen from among the disciples of John. He could not have performed this role if he had been born 40 or 50 years earlier. He was born exactly on time, according to God's clock, although ridiculously late according to Zachariah's and Elisabeth's.

My purpose then is to learn to live in the Spirit, which will make me one with God and Christ. If I do this, I will be living in the name of Christ. I will have the sealing power, and not one word I speak will the Lord allow to fall to the ground. Until then, all I can do is practice.

Teaching moment: play go fish or a similar type of card game. On one round invite your child to come and play while looking at your hand from your perspective (so they can see what you have). Point out that when they can see things the way you do, they know very easily what to ask for. Discuss how when we become more familiar with the way the Lord speaks and sees things, we can know exactly what to pray for and exactly what to say.

Possible concepts: prayer, faith, recognizing the Spirit, unity, humility, repentance, inspiration, teaching, speaking, revelation, the Holy Ghost

Possible scriptures

Bible Dictionary: "Prayer"

3 Nephi 19:23-25

2 Nephi 32:1-9

Helaman 10:3-10

Alma 14:10-13

D&C 46:30-31

1 Samuel 3:19

1 Samuel 9:6,9

John 17:3, 21-23

Matthew 6:7-13

2 Nephi 4:35

James 1:5-6

Becoming Capable of Eternal Life

President Howard W. Hunter spoke of watching a longboat race in Samoa. 

"After the race, Elder Hunter walked to where the boats were docked and spoke with one of the oarsmen, who explained that the prow of the long-boat “is so constructed that it cuts through and divides the water to help overcome the resistance that retards the speed of the boat. He further explained that the pulling of the oars against the resistance of the water creates the force that causes the boat to move forward. Resistance creates both the opposition and the forward movement." (HWH manual ch. 3)

When I first read this story I thought it was strange that the purpose of this sport is to use resistance to propel oneself through resistance. I asked myself what could be the point. I realized that the point is not the boat, or the speed, or the water, it's all about the rowers. The resistance is necessary for the rowers to become stronger. Without resistance, the rowers could not be changed! There could be no muscle development or growth without resistance. 

The Lord's purpose is not so much to get the boat and its members to a certain destination, but for the rowers to become something divine. His work is to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man. This goal is about the condition of the man himself, not his location. 

In order to have eternal life, a person must be capable of eternity. His soul must be infinite or else he cannot comprehend or enjoy infinite joy or fulfillment. Immortality refers to quantity (how much life). Eternal life is quality (how good is life). I can only receive that which I am capable of receiving. As I live by celestial law, I become capable of feeling celestial things. 

Joy is not something we receive, it is something we create as our souls process our experiences. The more refined my soul, the more joy it is capable of creating. For the Lord to give us eternal life when we are not eternal beings would not be a gift. We would not appreciate it and we would not be able to use it. It is a useless gift unless I'm capable of enjoying it. It would be like giving binoculars to a blind man or new shoes to a man without feet. It would not only be useless, but even hurtful. It would be a constant reminder of what you cannot have or do. The Lord will bless each of His children with the very most they are capable of receiving.

Eternal life cannot be possessed, it is not handed from one to another any more than physical fitness is. Eternal life is who we become, not what we are given. 

Teaching moment: Give a child a gift he or she is not able to use or fully enjoy (clothes that don't fit, a book in a foreign language) or part of a gift but not enough to use it (wheels without a bike, a case without a phone, batteries without a toy etc). Explain that Heaven isn't just what you get, it is also your ability to enjoy it. If you don't become who you need to become, you will not be able to use or enjoy that gift. (After explaining this concept, it may be wise to give the rest of the gift and discuss how happiness is both having the gift and having the ability to use it). You could also discuss how opposition or resistance is the key to becoming who we need to be.

Possible concepts to teach: opposition, trials, agency, choice, eternal life, becoming, repentance, faith, change, diligence, discipline, plan of salvation

Possible scriptures:

D&C 88:32-33

2 Nephi 9:14

Mormon 9:3-4

2 Nephi 2:10-16

Moses 1:39

2 Kings 4:1-7

John 17:3

"Total Freedom" can be Bondage

I think freedom means the ability to act. The whole point of the plan of salvation is for us to be free. Lately, Tiah and I have talked a lot about fitness, and on of my favorite ways to describe the value of fitness is "fit is free." Before I started getting fit, I was greatly inhibited in my ability to act as I pleased. My body could not perform the functions I wanted it to. Ironically, this was a result if my "free" diet. Being free to eat and do anything I felt like actually brought me into physical bondage. I always think back to a time before we started to change when I was playing in the area turkey bowl. I remember being so out of shape that I couldn't do what I wanted to do. I could see where a play was headed and know in my mind what needed to be done, but my body lacked the physical capacity to execute. Because I chose to live free of dietary rules, I lost my freedom. 

So many people respond to healthy eating, diet and an active lifestyle with the attitude that it is too hard and too restrictive. The don't like the idea of having to monitor what they eat. It feels like it takes away their freedom. In my experience, the greatest bondage we can bring upon ourselves comes from abusing "freedom" and refusing restraint.

To me, this is exactly what the plan of salvation is all about. Heavenly Father wants us to be as free as He is. This does not mean that we rise above the law, but that we obey the laws that govern freedom perfectly. We become perfect in restraint and it sets us free. Today's modern society hates the idea that God has rules and expectations. They see God, if He exists at all, as an indulgent, lasse fair type of parent who will support them in any wickedness they choose to uphold. They do not seem to understand that a parent who demands nothing of his children is not loving, but powerless, blind, and a failure. Why? Because he cannot see that the greatest good of the child is to make a choice and have the ability to act on it. 

I should respond to commandments the way I am learning to respond to new fitness information. I am excited when I learn something new about how my body works because I can then begin to obey that law and receive more freedom. Rules increase the level of freedom I am able to enjoy. 

I believe that the whole plan of God was for us to become as free as He is. Immortality and eternal life means eternal freedom. That's his whole work and glory. To set His children free forever.

Just as physical freedom requires the strengthening and maintaining of my body, eternal freedom requires the strengthening and maintaining of my soul. 

Teaching moment- have a child do a difficult exercise (like running, playing or doing push-ups) while carrying or pulling a very heavy weight. Explain to them that the laws of God are meant to set us free and that The Lord has identified those behaviors which will take away our ability to act freely through commandments. After sufficient time, have them repeat the activity without the weight and note the difference in ability to move freely. Point out that when The Lord invites us to eliminate certain behaviors in our lives, He is doing so in order bring freedom.

Possible ideas to teach: repentance, obedience, faith, commandments, law, love, parenting, LDS, Mormon, religion, freedom, agency, liberty, self-discipline, change.

Possible references: 

2 Nephi 2:16

2 Nephi 2:25-27

D&C 93:33-34