No More Treating Others "Fairly"

"15 And thus he shall bring salvation to all those who shall believe on his name; this being the intent of this last sacrifice, to bring about the bowels of mercy, which overpowereth justice, and bringeth about means unto men that they may have faith unto repentance.

16 And thus mercy can satisfy the demands of justice, and encircles them in the arms of safety, while he that exercises no faith unto repentance is exposed to the whole law of the demands of justice; therefore only unto him that has faith unto repentance is brought about the great and eternal plan of redemption."

(Alma 34:15-16)

Mercy overpowers justice but cannot rob it. Maybe a better way for me to think of it is that mercy overshadows or covers justice. It doesn't overpower justice by disregarding or ignoring it. It can overpower justice only because justice is satisfied. In other words, justice is the foundation upon which mercy is built, it cannot be ignored or destroyed, it can only be covered by mercy. 

I think as far as my life goes, I could almost completely focus on being merciful and trust that the Lord will take care of justice. If I am going to make a mistake on one side or the other I would be best off to err on the side of mercy and allow the Lord to deal out justice. I already know that justice will be satisfied in my case either by my own payment or by the Savior's. What remains to be seen is how much mercy I will receive. We know from the scriptures that we can actually influence our own judgement. The Lord taught that we will be judged with that same judgement with which we judge others. When the Lord goes to measure out rewards, He will use the same scale with which I have measured out judgment in my life. If I have been abundantly merciful and generous with my forgiveness and compassion, it is just for Him to use the same measurement in His judgment of me! 

In this way, it is fair for Him to use an unfair scale, because it is the scale I have always used in my judgment of my fellow men. This is how we qualify for mercy, by being merciful. Blessed are the merciful for they shall obtain mercy. Christ taught that if we forgive men their trespasses, the Lord will forgive us our trespasses, but if not, we will not receive forgiveness. 

This is one reason why it is not only required, but wise of us to forgive all men. It shifts the scales in our behalf and allows The Lord to apply mercy in our judgment. It is only fair that He judge us using our own scale. That is the only just way. 

There is a Proverb about how to treat your enemies. It says something about how being kind to your enemies heaps coals upon their heads. While it is not my goal to heap coals on the heads of others, I do desire to have the coals of judgment removed from my head. The Savior also taught us to turn the other cheek, and to go the extra mile with he who compels you to go one, and to give the cloak also to the man that sues you for your coat. This counsel all makes sense when you consider these truths about mercy and judgment. If you hope the Lord will give you better than you deserve, you should give others better than they deserve. The more merciful you are to those who have treated you poorly, the more you shift the scales in your favor.

The Lord has told us that judgment is His. In fact He employeth no servant there. I am so grateful for this truth. I'm so glad to know that I will not be put in a position to be the judge for another, God will take care of that. Knowing this, I can do my very best to judge righteously, erring on the side of mercy, and trust that He will take care of justice. What a huge blessing and relief. I don't want to treat others fairly, I always want to err on the side of treating others much better than I think they deserve.

Teaching moment: Have a child evaluate someone else's performance of a job/chore. Invite them to find everything that has been done wrong or poorly. Invite them to do it again and look for everything that was done well or correctly. You could have them decide how much of a reward/payment ought to be given to this person after each evaluation. Ask them which way they would rather be rewarded by the Lord. Teach them that God judges us based on how we judge others (Matthew 7:2).

Alma 34:15-15, 27-29

Matthew 5:7, 38-48

Matthew 6:12-15

Matthew 7:1-5

Matthew 18:21-35

Matthew 25:31-46

Proverbs 25:21-22

D&C 64:8-11

In the Name of Christ or in the Name of Bryce?

When I close a prayer or talk in the name of Jesus Christ, I am affirming that what I have said has been said in His name, meaning it is aligned with His will. In other words I have said and done what He would have said and done. This puts more responsibility on me to learn how to both know and do His will.

The object of prayer is not to change the will of God, but to secure for ourselves blessings which God is ready to give, but which are dependent on our asking for them. The purpose of prayer is for the child to bring his will into alignment with the will of his Father. I believe this is true both of individual prayers and of a lifetime prayer relationship with God. My purpose is to engage in a process of speaking, listening, feeling and asking so that I can become more familiar with the voice of God and the workings of the Spirit. I think the real purpose of prayer is to learn to recognize His voice.

When the Nephites disciples prayed, we are told that they did not multiply many words because it was given them by the Spirit what to pray for. We also know that because angels speak by the Holy Ghost, they speak the words of Christ. So when we speak, or pray by the Spirit, we are speaking and praying the words of Christ. 

We are taught that when we ask the Father in the name of Christ, we will be given whatsoever we ask. We might mistakenly believe that this means we say the name of Jesus Christ as we speak. In reality it means that we speak and pray by inspiration and ask for that which the Lord desires to give us and at the time He desires to give it. 

When I ask the Father in the name of Christ, He will always answer me. This is because the mind of Christ is one with the mind of the Father, so Christ will only ask for that which it is His Father's will to bestow. So every prayer is answered. He did not need to speak many words because not a single word was wasted.

He did not use the shotgun prayer approach, asking for lots an lots of different things hoping He might get a few of them correct. He used the sharpshooter approach, He only asked that which it was His Father's will that He ask. He never attempted a miracle only to find out that it wasn't God's will to perform. Never a wasted bullet because He didn't pray for that which was not right with the Father's will. 

Christ was known for His ability to do so much with so few words. He was not known for lengthy and sparkling orations, but for simple, understandable and penetrating messages that change hearts. "He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her." Was the simplest response to a very complex and difficult situation. He did not multiply words.

When I become aligned with the will of Christ, everything I ask is granted. I receive the sealing power. Nephi had the sealing power because he never asked that which was not the will of God. He always prayed in the name of Christ. If this is the case, I too will have the sealing power when I learn to live and act in the name of Christ. Then everything I pray will be fulfilled because I will have learned to ask for what He is ready to give me. 

This requires that I come to know the voice of the Spirit so well that I can always speak in the Spirit. I don't think this means that we shouldn't ask for things we want or we should be scared to ask God because we might guess wrong. I think it means that we don't pray with the purpose of changing God's will, but of learning how to know it.

I have thought then, what about the times when I have prayed for what I desired and it was granted? This doesn't mean I changed the will of God, but that I had recognized an inspired desire. 

The explanation on the revelation of the priesthood points out that church leaders had been moved upon by an inspired desire to extend the priesthood to all worthy males. In other words, the Spirit prompted them to ask for it. 

When Alma and Amulek stood by the pit and watched the believers burn, Amulek sought to save them, Alma knew it was not in the Lord's will. He knew that, while Amulek's desire was borne of love, it was not in the name of Christ. 

I don't think it's wrong to pray for our desires, there is no other way to learn the difference between an inspired desire and  an uninspired one.

Once, after studying this topic, Tiah and I decided to try it. For fast Sunday, we decided to pray about what we should pray about. While we have struggled with the inability to have children and have often felt a desire to fast for children, we felt that this day we should fast for gratitude. To me it seemed like a waste of  a fast. If I was going to go 24 hours without food, I ought to be able to ask for something I wanted, like children. However, we decided to try it. Maybe there really was a difference between praying in the name of Christ and praying in the name of Bryce.

By the end of that day, we had had one of the most refreshing and fulfilling fasts I had ever experienced. The gift of gratitude had been given along with about 100 other subtle and powerful blessings. We almost laughed at ourselves near the end of the day when we realized that children, money, security and any other "blessing" would still leave us unhappy if we didn't have gratitude. With gratitude, happiness could be ours whatever our circumstance. We realized how foolish it would have been to continue asking for things to make us happy without first receiving the gift that is the heart and soul of happiness, gratitude. I believe The Lord made this particular answer very easy to recognize in order to reinforce to me the importance of praying in the name of Christ, not Bryce.

I have wondered how the desire to have children could ever be uninspired since families are the heart of God's plan. I have realized that prayer is not only about asking for the right thing, but also aligning our wills with the right time, the Lord's time. He doesn't set His watch to mine, I must learn to set my watch to His. That, or always wonder why my trials are arriving early and my blessings always late.

John the Baptist had a role to fulfill in preparing the people for the coming of the Savior. Several of Christ's apostles were chosen from among the disciples of John. He could not have performed this role if he had been born 40 or 50 years earlier. He was born exactly on time, according to God's clock, although ridiculously late according to Zachariah's and Elisabeth's.

My purpose then is to learn to live in the Spirit, which will make me one with God and Christ. If I do this, I will be living in the name of Christ. I will have the sealing power, and not one word I speak will the Lord allow to fall to the ground. Until then, all I can do is practice.

Teaching moment: play go fish or a similar type of card game. On one round invite your child to come and play while looking at your hand from your perspective (so they can see what you have). Point out that when they can see things the way you do, they know very easily what to ask for. Discuss how when we become more familiar with the way the Lord speaks and sees things, we can know exactly what to pray for and exactly what to say.

Possible concepts: prayer, faith, recognizing the Spirit, unity, humility, repentance, inspiration, teaching, speaking, revelation, the Holy Ghost

Possible scriptures

Bible Dictionary: "Prayer"

3 Nephi 19:23-25

2 Nephi 32:1-9

Helaman 10:3-10

Alma 14:10-13

D&C 46:30-31

1 Samuel 3:19

1 Samuel 9:6,9

John 17:3, 21-23

Matthew 6:7-13

2 Nephi 4:35

James 1:5-6

Why I'm Glad to be a Weakling

I think I've always had an overactive sense of shame and guilt. At times, my perception of the Lord has been that of a Father who is disappointed in me and frustrated with my weakness. I have come to understand that God does not see me as I currently am, but as the eternal being that I was, that I am, and that I will be. So it's me (and other humans), not Him, who is surprised or flustered when I fall short. While I see weakness as what's holding me back from growing, He sees it as the very thing that's helping me grow.

For me it was a stunning revelation to learn that God does not only have a divine tolerance for our weakness, it is actually one of His greatest gifts to us. After Paul be sought the Lord "thrice" to remove one of the "thorns" in his flesh. In response, The Lord taught Paul to stop looking at the weakness of Paul and start looking at the grace of God. "And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong." 

(2 Corinthians 12:9-10). 

He responded to Moroni's insecurity as a writer in a very similar way: "And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them." 

(Ether 12:27)

I think if we slow down while we read this verse we will see something that can change the way we see weakness. I have always interpreted these verse more like this: "I understand that you are weak. I wish you wouldn't be but since you cannot really help it, I will tolerate your weakness and patch up your mistakes." What He actually said was "I give unto men weakness." He actually gave us weakness. It is a divine gift. Moroni later reminds us of a simple truth about all things that come from God: "But behold, that which is of God inviteth and enticeth to do good continually; wherefore, every thing which inviteth and enticeth to do good, and to love God, and to serve him, is inspired of God. Wherefore, take heed, my beloved brethren, that ye do not judge that which is evil to be of God, or that which is good and of God to be of the devil."

(Moroni 7:13-14)

If weakness is a gift from God and God only gives good gifts that invite us to do good, then we should remember that our weakness is not a roadblock or even an annoyance to His plan, but an essential ingredient. We must then be careful not to judge our weakness, which is a gift from God, as coming from the devil. In fact, the devil's tactic is for us to deny or hide our weakness. He must try to get us to believe that The Lord is disappointed in us for having weakness and so we ought to be ashamed to admit it. If this is our response to weakness, then, just as he does with all of God's gifts, satan can take a gift intended to turn us to God and try to use it to turn us away from Him.

This a concept that is beginning to make more sense to me. Weakness is not a curse, it is a God-given gift. If it were not for weakness, I could not understand the power and mercy of God. It isn't easy to see our weakness as reason to rejoice. It seems counterintuitive to rejoice in weakness. It is difficult to celebrate falling short. I think it requires a shift in attitude. We are prone to focus on the fact that we fell short of the mark rather than rejoice in the courage it took to jump and the peace of having one who is both willing and able to catch us. To focus on my weakness can cause me to forget the one who gives me strength. If all I'm worried about is that I didn't jump high enough, I forget what a gift it is to be able to jump and what a gift it is to have Savior to save me. 

It seems to me that too much of life is spent focusing on our failures and maybe not enough on rejoicing in our freedom. The Atonement of Jesus Christ has set us free forever. Free to run and jump and fall and try and fail. Because of Christ we need not fear to stumble or to fail because we have one who is mighty enough to heal and save us. 

I think too often instead of enjoying the freedom which has been bought for me, I sorrow in my weakness and essentially handcuff myself. Why bother living freely when I know I'm just going to fail again. The atonement of Jesus Christ paid my ransom, unlocked my prison cell and opened the door. 

Unfortunately I often remain in my cell, mourning my failures and my weakness. I pull the door closed and bemoan the fact that I feel so helpless. I think to myself that The Lord is so disappointed in me that He must surely expect that I remain in prison. When He tells me the price has been paid and all that is required is that I stand up and walk out, I think He must be kidding. Doesn't He know what I've done? 

Rather than focus on my weakness, I think it's time I start focusing on His strength. Rather than focus on my failures, I need to start focusing on His victory. Instead of focusing on how good I am at breaking things, I need to remember how good He is at fixing things.  Like the great and good in story, if we fail we fail with glory! Understanding God's gift of weakness will set me free forever to fail with glory.

True freedom then is to trust the atonement enough to rejoice in my weakness. Without my weakness, I could not know His grace. I would take a life full of "failures" that leads me to Christ over a life of "security" that keeps me isolated. He is the One who overcame all failure so that He could have the power to redeem us. "Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage." (Galatians 5:1)

Teaching Moment: Teach a child how to change a car tire. Have a child try to lift a car alone. When they are unable, talk about how a car jack works (or use one). Discuss how their inability to lift the car led them to seek something with more power. Point out that our weakness is meant to help us turn to the Lord for help and to rely on His strength. You could also point out that there is no shame in being unable to lift a car. Everyone has been given weakness, no one can succeed without seeking help. 

Celebrate weakness! Help a child or youth to develop a proper perspective on failure by congratulating them when they fail. Discuss how failure is not something to fear, but a divine gift. Turn their attention from the shortcoming of failure to the great blessing of trying again. Losing an athletic contest, or doing poorly on an assignment might be the perfect way to for their hearts to be prepared for a discussion about the Lord's great gift of weakness and a perfect opporunity to bear testimony of the strengthening power of the Atonement of Christ.

Possible ideas to teach: repentance, addiction, the Atonement, endure to the end, faith, fear, grace, strength, confession, sin.

Possible scripture references:

Ether 12:27

2 Corinthians 12:8-10

Moroni 7:13-14

Galatians 5:1

2 Nephi 2:26-27

Possible Discussion Question:

What are some of the scary things The Lord has helped you to overcome in your life?