Blessings Help, Gratitude Heals

Yesterday I read a talk by Elder Nelson titled "Thanks be to God." He began with a story and an observation that struck me.

"Recently, Sister Nelson and I enjoyed the beauty of tropical fish in a small private aquarium. Fish with vivid colors and of a variety of shapes and sizes darted back and forth. I asked the attendant nearby, 'Who provides food for these beautiful fish?'

"She responded, “I do.”

"Then I asked, 'Have they ever thanked you?'

She replied, 'Not yet!'

I thought of some people I know who are just as oblivious to their Creator and their true 'bread of life.' They live from day to day without an awareness of God and His goodness unto them. How much better it would be if all could be more aware of God’s providence and love and express that gratitude to Him...Our degree of gratitude is a measure of our love for Him."

The story of the fish tank and Elder Nelson's observation really impacted me. For most of my life I have been the fish in the tank that never even thinks to look up and see where my blessings are coming from. In fact, most the time I don't even stop to think about the fact that they are blessings.

Sometimes we become confused with thinking that because we've always had something, we have a right to it. To the fish, food wasn't a gift, it was an expectation. With this attitude we become entitled. I have spent most of my life asking God to give me what I don't have. I have rarely had the maturity or humility to really thank Him for what I already do have.

I looked this talk up yesterday after reading the story of the ten lepers. In that story, ten lepers plead with Jesus to heal them. He sends them to the priest to be pronounced clean. As they went, they were cleansed. Only one of those ten turned back to glorify God and thank the Savior. He recognized the great blessing he had been given.

The Savior told this man to go his way, "thy faith hath made thee whole." I thought about the difference between being "cleansed" and being "made whole." All ten were cleansed, only one was made whole.

As I pondered this, I realized why. How long would those 9 be satisfied with their lives? How long before they forgot the great blessing they had been given and again became dissatisfied? Would their rejoicing last? If they did not learn how to turn back and recognize God's hand in their lives, their joy would likely be temporary and short lived.

I believe that blessings help us but gratitude heals us. Receiving a gift makes us happy for a moment, gratitude for our gifts will make us happy forever. Without gratitude, no amount of blessings will be enough. With it, everything is enough.

I'm grateful for this story from the Bible. I'm grateful for the powerful message it teaches. I believe that getting what we want will make us happy for a moment, wanting what we have will make us happy forever.

Will I Be Happy When I Die?

The other day I was reading about how the wicked who die will enter a state of misery and sorrow in the next life. I have also read many scriptures that teach that the spirit which possesses us when we die will be the same spirit and that those who are happy will be happy still and those who are miserable will be miserable still. I've wondered how it's possible that both of these teachings could be true. How can we continue in whatever state we are in and yet the wicked be miserable and the righteous happy. In many cases it seems that the wicked are quite content with their lives, even happy. What happens when they die? Do they enter a state of misery or do they continue in the state of contentment and happiness they experience here?

I think the answer lies in our understanding of what happiness means. Happiness is the health of the spirit. What we usually refer to as happiness is not actually happiness. What we often describe instead are the symptoms of happiness, how my mortal body feels.

Just as I might say I am healthy because I see no signs of poor health, I might say I'm happy because I don't feel any of the symptoms of unhappiness. In both cases I may be right or wrong, what I am calling health or happiness is actually my best guess  at how happy I am based on my symptoms. I may have a serious medical condition that, if I were aware of it, would change my assessment of my health entirely.

The same is true of happiness. While I may feel no symptoms of unhappiness, I do not have a full knowledge of how happy I am right now. There is a delay in the signal from my Spirit to my mortal senses. Sometimes I do not realize that my spirit is unhappy until long after it has become unhappy. Alma said wickedness never was happiness. That means that as soon as I've sinned, I have become less happy. I do not always sense that immediately though because I have a body which delays that message. This delay is a great blessing. It allows us to correct our unhappiness before the full pain of the consequences takes effects. It also is the only way that we can learn to live by faith. The body is the main faith-building tool we have. Without it, I could immediately see that my spirit is happier when I obey and less happy when I disobey. This would mean that I make choices based on immediate consequences and never gain the ability to see using my eyes of faith. 

This is why I believe both statements about death are true. Those who are happy will be happy still, but those who are miserable shall be miserable still. The truth is that while wickedness may not always feel unhappy, wickedness never was happiness. The health of the Spirit is immediately influenced by the good and bad choices we make. 

The Lord prolonged our days so that the consequences of our choices would not follow immediately, thus we could learn to use our faith. We were given mortal bodies which delayed and veiled our full understanding of the condition of our spirits. 

So why will the wicked be miserable when they die? It is because they will no longer have a body to soften and veil the symptoms of their unhappiness. In essence, have a body allows us to numb ourselves to the condition of our spirits, like a painkiller. 

While painkillers can be a blessing so that we can fix injuries while alleviating pain, they can also be a challenge when they are used to shield ourselves from the truth about our health. In the same way, the body can be used to numb the pain of sin, which can be a blessing as we seek to repent, but we can often abuse the body's numbing power to shield us from an awareness of our own spiritual health. 

There are all kinds of ways to distract oneself from the pain of sin. Most of them involve turning up the volume in some form. Music, laughter, activity, video games, distraction, anger, aggression, pride, pleasure, lust, hunger, drugs. Many who are unhealthy in spirit will increase the volume in areas like these so that they don't have to hear the whisper of the Spirit, telling the truth about their condition.

When the wicked die, they lose access to their painkiller (the body). They can no longer numb themselves or hide the condition of their spirit because spirit is all they are. The full effect of their wicked and unhealthy lifestyle is now immediately brought upon them. It's not that the Lord imposes some form of outside punishment on them, but that they are punished by their own choices. 

Those who have taken the time to address their spiritual health and care for themselves continue to enjoy the happiness they had developed in life. Losing their body (painkillers) does not bother them because they maximized their time in life by healing the conditions rather than numbing the symptoms. 

Teaching moment: teach a child the difference between medicine that heals the problem and medicine that numbs the pain. Explain that without healing the problem, numbing will only work temporarily and can actually lead to greater pain. The dentist might be an easy example to use because the numbness very noticeable and most people have experienced it.

Scriptures:

2 Nephi 2:21

Alma 34:31-35

Alma 40:11-14

Alma 41:10

2 Nephi 9:13-16

Mormon 9:3-4, 13-14

1 Nephi 17:45-46

Ephesians 4:17-19

Mormon 2:13-14

President Henry B. Eyring

"Every person born into the world receives the Light of Christ, which helps us see and feel what is right and what is wrong. God has sent mortal servants who can, by the Holy Ghost, help us recognize what He would have us do and what He forbids. God makes it attractive to choose the right by letting us feel the effects of our choices. If we choose the right, we will find happiness—in time. If we choose evil, there comes sorrow and regret—in time. Those effects are sure. Yet they are often delayed for a purpose. If the blessings were immediate, choosing the right would not build faith. And since sorrow is also sometimes greatly delayed, it takes faith to feel the need to seek forgiveness for sin early rather than after we feel its sorrowful and painful effects." (A Priceless Heritage of Hope)

Thou Shalt Not Hurry

I have often wondered why Alma said he sinned in his wish to be an angel who could cry repentance with a loud voice. It seemed to me like to desire to be an angel was a righteous desire, not a sin. As I have continued to study, I have had the realization that even a righteous desire can become a sin if it robs us of our gratitude and blinds us to the blessings we have received. 

I think that true contentment is for mind, heart and body to all be in the same place at the same time. D&C 93:33-34 says that the body and spirit inseparably connected can receive a fulness of joy. D&C 138:50 says that disembodied spirits looked at their separation from their bodies as bondage. I believe that true happiness is to be fully present. If my body is here but my heart is somewhere else or somewhen else, I am dissatisfied, or in bondage.

Alma recognized that he ought to be content with what The Lord had given him to do at that time. 

I think this can be really frustrating because, while mind and heart can travel to past and future, the body is stuck in the moment. So we spent so much energy trying (in vain) to speed up time so that our bodies can be where our hearts are. We speed when we drive, we walk extra fast, we take shortcuts. All without realizing that rapidly changing location does not in fact change time at all, time passes at the same rate, and if my heart is set on some future event, no amount of hurrying from place to place can get me to where I desire. The most ironic thing of all is how often we finally reach that place in time only to realize that our heart is now behind us and we long to be where we already were.

We can easily get caught with our hearts and minds in the future or the past. This is bondage. We never actually are where (or when) our hearts want to be. 

I think that is what Alma recognized. If my heart is on being somewhere or something else, I am neglecting the gift I actually have before me. 

I have recently tried an experiment to remind myself to stay in the moment. I have tried to always go just under the speed limit. It has been amazing to me how tempted I have been to speed up, either thinking it will "save time" or fearing that those around me will be angry. It has been helpful because each time I am tempted to speed up, I am reminded of why I'm not. I will probably spend about 1,000 times more time traveling to my destination as I will actually spend arriving at my destination. If this is the case, I must learn to make traveling its own destination. Journeying should not be the chore between life's moments, it should be it's own special type of moment. It has been an interesting experiment and I'm thinking of adopting it permanently. It may be my little way of reminding myself the futility of fighting against time.

If I want to be happy, I must learn to be content with my current situation. True happiness comes when I am fully present. My mind, heart and body are in the same place at the same time.

Teaching moment: while watching a movie, reading a book (or a scripture story), eating dinner, riding in the car or sitting in the family room, try to identify 5 or 10 (or 50) things you had not noticed before. Discuss how slowing down allows us to see and experience things that we miss when we are in a hurry. Discuss the dangers of trying to rush through things that are important.

Possible Concepts to teach: gratitude, joy, love, peace, Spirit, contentment, calm, agency, happiness, worship

Possible scriptures:

Alma 29:1-4

D&C 59:14-21

D&C 88:15

D&C 93:33-34

D&C 128:50

2 Nephi 2:25

Matthew 25:14-29